House of Darkness (2022) User Reviews

Really?

[Foutainoflife · 3/10 · 19 September 2022]

A guy goes home with an attractive woman believing he's found himself a casual hookup.

What is this? OMG. I like Justin Long but I don't want to watch him rambling, at times incoherently, for nearly 90 minutes. There's so little dialogue that all you hear is him trying to carry the whole weight of the movie on his shoulders while the rest of the cast asked stupid, repetitive questions and stares at him. It was a bit ridiculous. The story is so obvious. You know where this is heading in the first five minutes. It's not very creative or interesting.

I made it through the whole film but this just turned out to be a flop for me. It's not something that I'm gonna be hyping up.

Goes absolutely nowhere!

[Go_For_The_Jugular · 1/10 · 14 September 2022]

What the heck!

Was this improvised?

It starts off fairly well, but goes absolutely nowhere. It's like the cast were just making it up as they went along.

Boring, slow, tedious and non-sensical dialogue, from start to finish.

Not even an ounce of a storyline, or plot.

Nearly 90 minutes of build-up, with the biggest anti-climax I've seen in some time.

How can someone give this the green light, then someone else make this, act in this, direct this, film this, edit this...and RELEASE THIS?

Absolutely horrible! If I had paid to watch this, I would ask for TWO refunds. Wasted my morning on this.

Justin Long and the female lead had zero chemistry. Where was the horror? 5 seconds of a woman's reflection in a mirror? I'm sorry, but the word 'horror' shouldn't be within 100 miles of this movie.

And House of 'Darkness' was the perfect title...as it's almost pitch black for 90% of the movie.

Barely a movie, more like a play with one act.

[Victor_Fallon · 3/10 · 18 September 2022]

Justin Long plays a dorky guy who drives the sassy Kate Bosworth home to maybe get frisky in her big old spooky house.

The rest of the movie is a real time (yes, really) conversation that drags on and on. The extensive dialogue is cluttered, swamped with umms and ahhs and throwaway lines that the cheapest editor on Fiverr would have jettisoned immediately.

The cinematography is poor. Actors often have their eyes in shadow which subtracts from their otherwise decent performances. There is only one location, a living room, and most of the time we can barely see it. They took the title literally, it seems. Don't expect the house to play any role. It doesn't.

It's a very basic movie, essentially a one act radio play. A cliched thirty second denouement is telegraphed hard and then it's over. I can't even tell you what this movie is about because it only has one idea and it would spoil the whole thing. As a five minutes short, it would be respectable. As a movie, it's a toothless waste of time.

Awful and boring

[edlc1970 · 1/10 · 25 September 2022]

The first more than an hour of this boring crap, is a conversation between Mina and Hap. First outside her mansion and then inside in the couch. Nothing happens. Nothing!! He is overly awkward and she is overly mysterious. And they do nothing by talking. Its like watching a stage show in a theater. And a very boring stage show at that. Its a total waste, watching the sad and dull crap. Its gotten bad ratings in Rotten Tomatoes and on IMDb. And if you waste time watching this crap, you will find out why. Otherwise, save time and everything else, and avoid this crap. Its boring, Its weird and nothing happens. Nothing.

STOP! Don't watch!

[petarilic32 · 1/10 · 18 October 2022]

HUGE WARNING for how boring and utterly POINTLESS and obvious it is. I'm being dead serious here! It doesn't get more boring and more pointless than this. Save your time, otherwise you'll have exactly the same reaction as me, which is - wtf? And not in a good way either. If there was a minus 10, this "movie" would certainly get it.

I'm going to keep this spoiler free but there's quite literally nothing to spoil anyway since it's all spelt out! The only thing that actually happens is a cute story and that's it! Are you kidding me? Who came up with this? Give an iPhone to a 5 year old and I guarantee you they'd make a better "movie".

Who wrote this dialogue

[jn-14100 · 1/10 · 18 September 2022]

We just tried to watch this movie. Whoever wrote this dialog clearly has never interacted with real humans. 20 minutes in and Justin Long's character was so unlikeable with the ceaseless rambling that we gave up. There was zero action or anything compelling to hook someone in. This would probably be suited best as a low budget play instead of a movie. The preview to the film was intriguing but if you can't hook an audience in the first 20 min of an hour and a half film the entire script needs to be rewritten. Overall I will give this a one star for the reimagining premise but sadly cannot give it any more than that.

Doesn't Deserve the Low Reviews

[arfdawg-1 · 7/10 · 24 October 2022]

To be clear, I have no skin in this game. I don't know anyone involved in this movie nor did I know anything about it when I started to watch it.

It's a small cast -- 4 people. Really 2 and a half. When you see the movie you'll see what I mean. Because the movie is confined to an old house, it's a talky movie.

In fact, it's presented almost like a play. I could easily envision this being on the stage and playing for a long time.

So there's lots of converation. Yes, you pretty much know where the plot is heading the moment the movie begins, but it's still realy fun to watch the plot unfold.

It's well done and well acted.

Not really sure why this is getting semi-bad reviews here. Maybe because it's not a traditional slasher type movie with phony scare tactics. It's more of a thinking man's film.

Boring

[gab-67599 · 4/10 · 13 September 2022]

Good actors with nothing better to do. This movie sucked, I kept waiting for anything to happen. An hour and 19 mins into the movie it finally does, then it is over! Lame. Please do not watch this movie if you value your time. Not sure the point of even making a movie so unfulfilling. If you watch this one, be ready for long walking down the hall scenes. Also filled with plenty of boring conversation! Sad thing is I really like Long, albeit he was better fitted in comedy. I feel like this movie was below the bar for both of the leads in this movie. I guess if you enjoyed that movie Tusk he did then you will enjoy this one but for me it was just not my jam. I need more going on in a movie so I don't fall asleep!

Forget the bad reviews. If you can cope with listening to well crafted dialogue and acting that builds tension, its for you.

[prestonmick-975-597748 · 7/10 · 6 March 2023]

I would love to know the age of people who rate this film as a 1 or 2 and say comments like 'Skip it' or 'boring waste of time.' Maybe these people need to stay off their phones while watching a conversation-led film.

I live in the UK, do not work in the industry, have zilch to do with the film or trying to promote it. However, after giving it a go, regardless of the poor reviews, I thought it was really good, in fact its maybe a 7.5.

You can sort of sense from the early dialogue what path the film might take but what kept me gripped was the mystery of wondering how we were going to get there. I found the dialogue excellent. It was intriguing and the exchanges between the main characters made me drawn into the room with them.

This is not a gorefest from minute one, nor is it a bloodbath but its highly sexually charged, with dark undertones that permeate the film from very early on. The acting is top notch as well.

We're introduced to a couple who have literally just met earlier, in a bar, and the male character Hap has given Mina a lift home. They seem to like each other, and thus the dialogue/wordplay begins.

For me, it was absolutely fascinating to watch, i was riveted. Saying that, I did watch it in the dark, no interruptions, and I had headphones on and it just ramped up the creepy atmosphere.

And this film does build up. Its like a coil thats getting tighter and tighter, and even tho you 'know' whats going to happen, you still need to watch.

My only criticism would be that, after all that tension and impending doom, the end seemed to peter out a little maybe, and it ended too quickly. But, saying that, I thoroughly enjoyed it and providing you're not an impatient child, and you can listen to dialogue , and read between the lines, then hopefully you'll find it as enjoyable as I did.

Cure for insomnia

[daleenglish-38279 · 1/10 · 28 January 2023]

This movie goes nowhere. A waste of time that you will never get back. It is really a movie about less than nothing. The good news, if you can't sleep, this movie will knock you out cold. Cast must have needed a paycheck because clearly this movie has no script, no writers. Improv at its absolute worst. Not scary, not tense, not dramatic, not interesting. An appropriate title would be KATE AND JUSTIN NEED WORK. Warning, cash grab ahead. Watching your lawn grow will provide you with a thousand times more entertainment. This awful production is truly the cure for all insomnia the world over. Too late for me, save yourselves. You're welcome.

Cure for insomnia.

[alexkzapf · 2/10 · 16 January 2023]

Wow. What horrible dialogue. Boring story. And just stupid execution. Was checking my watch constantly. It was just stupid. Not sure what the point of this movie was. If it's to put you to sleep. It's working. Do not watch. Very predictable. Not worth your time. I don't know why any actor would want to be in this movie. The payoff is blah. And it is just stupid. An hour and a half of nothing. And. The result is disappointing. Neil la bute. Stop making movies. You suck at your job. Get a normal job. Not sure who would bankroll this joke of a story. Can't think of many more boring disappointing movies I have ever seen. Two stars for cinematography.

Slow, but will indeed hook you if you let it.

[A_Different_Drummer · 7/10 · 14 September 2022]

The Pickup From Hell (literally) is really 9 parts stage play and 1 part movie. With those numbers, you're thinking it would have to be pretty darn compelling to justify your time? And it is. Thanks to Justin Long, who more or less gives a one man show for 90 minutes. Long coincidentally stars in one of the movies on my "BEST" IMDb list (see below) and clearly, even more than a decade later, he has lost none of his famous "Jimmy Stewart" charm. Oddly, this is an upside-down sort of "guys" movie in that, for self-identifying male watchers, you would be constantly asking yourself, "If that were me, at what point would I have had the common sense to grab my hat, head for the door, and run down the road SCREAMING?" ((Designated "IMDb Top Reviewer." Please check out my list "167+ Nearly-Perfect Movies (with the occasional Anime or TV miniseries) you can/should see again and again (1932 to the present))

He didn't do anything!!!

[bangel3322 · 6/10 · 25 September 2022]

Pretty decent film told in real time, I think only made more enjoyable due to Justin Long. He played his character perfectly. This guy who thinks he's suave, looking for a good time, who is still rather awkward when it comes to women.

It's obvious from the title and trailer what's going to happen, so there's not much of a shock factor here or any surprises unfortunately, which would have made it slightly better.

Not overly keen on Kate Bosworth's casting. I actually think they should have swapped Kate's character with the second sister...she was a far better actress. Overall a decent watch but it's pretty predictable.

Just...awful

[buffo-27296 · 1/10 · 24 September 2022]

I guess the idea for this was to cast a male lead that is so annoying, unlikable and sleezy and to have the male lead feature in every scene for long enough for the audience to despair that the end is not happening fast enough. Enter Justin Long to play himself.

Not only does Justin Long irritate the viewer with his very poor delivery and over the top ham-fisted acting chops, but he delivers his performance in a completely unselfconscious way - as if he thinks he is really nailing it. He does not.

The female leads are a bit better but only because they look so good and so the terrible script, lack of wit, the barely credible set up and juvenile plotting, can be temporarily overlooked.

Unfortunately, Long's performance in this piece of fluff is so bad that I will be reluctant to every invest in anything with his name attached to it.

I enjoyed it

[ashfordofficial · 6/10 · 20 September 2022]

1. A reimagining of Bram Stoker's Dracula. I usually gets bored by movies with full of conversation and less action, but this film gracefully delivered horror, tension and mystery in a smooth manner and Justin Long, Kate Bosworth and Gia Crovatin gave a tremendous performance that I enjoyed very much. It's nice to see Long back in horror genre. I loved his performance in this one and he nailed that role perfectly.

2. A reimagining of Bram Stoker's Dracula. I usually gets bored by movies with full of conversation and less action, but this film gracefully delivered horror, tension and mystery in a smooth manner and Justin Long, Kate Bosworth and Gia Crovatin gave a tremendous performance that I enjoyed very much. It's nice to see Long back in horror genre. I loved his performance in this one and he nailed that role perfectly.

Unbearable Neil Lebute's dialogue is so awkward!

[UniqueParticle · 1/10 · 6 March 2023]

The 2 main actors Justin Long and Kate Bosworth have done much better. One of the worst movies deserving of the poor reviews/ratings, its so awkward throughout. I usually enjoy most everything I watch almost never low rate something so that's more meaningful to the points. Hasn't Kate done enough vampire movies cause of the Underworld films? How is comedy even part of the genres nothing gives that vibe at all its one of the most chain of uncomfortable dialogues ever!

Lakeview Terrace is probably one of the only good movies by director Neil Lebute. Justin Long shouldn't yawn and sleep in a strangers house either what in the world as if there wasn't enough home vibes involved come on dude he barely knew Mina at all. I wouldn't recommend this but I do hope someone appreciates my thoughts.

Why?!

[joselnieves81 · 2/10 · 2 March 2023]

I haven't written a review in a long time on this site. I have time today! I saw the cast and figured, hey this should be cool. Oh man, was I incorrect! I've seen some bad movies but this one here is one of the worst I've ever seen. It was nothing lots of pointless dialogue, lots of awkward laughter, odd smiles for 98% of the movie. This was a total utter waste of time. The director I know from (Death at a funeral) which I love that movie. This catastrophe, waste, sewage water of a movie was not. I get everyone needs a paycheck but this movie is so beneath Bosworth & Long. I don't understand actors, actresses and directors. When making a film and finishing a film it doesn't occur to them, holy crap this is a total waste of film! That's the summary of this thing I wasted my time watching last night! Only gave it 2 stars because I enjoy Kate Bosworth and this put that under review for myself!

What a let down

[jaweebelow · 2/10 · 20 September 2022]

What sounded like an interesting enough premise for a little horror/comedy was unfortunately let down by it's very poor excecution.

I am usually a fan of Justin Long and I do think he is well suited to horror/comedy but here it felt there was nothing he could have done to save the script & it's characters' awful dialogue.

The bad dialogue along with bad lighting; which was noticably bad in almost every scene. The poor acting from the three sisters was just tiring to say the least. The pacing was absolutely off, I can't call it a "slow-burn" because it never heated up, it just wandered about for 70 minutes followed by the most predictable and down-right lazy ending I could have possibly imagined.

These things wouldn't even be so much of an issue if the movie actually had any comedy to speak of, seriously don't get why it's tagged as "horror, comedy". This just wasn't it.

It wasn't deliberately bad in order to be funny, it was just bad. There was no comedic dialogue what-so-ever or any chemistry between any of the cast. Literally just felt like almost every piece of dialogue was the tired old "All men bad blah blah blah". Honestly tired of this crap being in modern movies so I will call it out.

2/10 pointless garbage.

Sometimes slow can be fun, if you pay attention!

[Wild-43358 · 6/10 · 17 September 2022]

I really enjoyed this actually! Justin Long and Kate Bosworth are some seriously good actors. They really put on a show! I understand there was a ton of conversation and it's pretty fair to say this was incredibly slow. I can understand that. But sometimes slow is good. This held pretty solid build up and while it was predictable I also considered this to be a classic long stretch of tales from the crypt type of story. So I really enjoyed the aspect of that and couldn't wait to see what was going to happen. Even if I knew there was clearly something off about Mina you still don't know exactly what it may be! The ending was great and a classic! The acting was also incredibly good as expected.

Justin Long should just stay away from stranger's houses

[filmfan-95355 · 2/10 · 24 January 2023]

A "sexy horror" movie that's neither scary nor sexy. The dialogue is kind of like that bit in the 40 year Old Virgin in which the guy tries to seduce a woman by answering every question with another question...except here it's played straight to exhaustion for 90 minutes. The actors try to elevate the material...but there's is nothing to elevate. This is Riftraxx level of quality. There isn't much to say other than that but IMDB forces me to keep writing so I'll just mention much better, small horror movies; Deadstream Saloum Anything for Jackson The innocents Speak no Evil Metamorphosis Fresh.

A short film concept.

[Shreyansh344 · 3/10 · 14 September 2022]

The film gave me hope with its beginning. But was a let down by the time it ended. Justin Long really uplifts this film with his acting but the lack of chemistry amongst the other actors, and zero depth in the script made it impossible to like this film.

There were moments like some conversations between the characters which reflected a proper writing but it fell off in the rest of the film. Couple of jumpscares does the job well but that's it. For a moment it does take an interesting turn but then just leaves that part hanging which could have made this film a bit more interesting.

The ending seemed forced. It would've worked if it was a short film.

Awful dialogue

[nick-64390 · 1/10 · 27 September 2023]

Should have killed this dude five minutes into the movie to see the tone and bring in someone with a personality. The dialogue is horrendous. Caught myself one hour into this and wondering where is this going. I would not waste time on this movie. How can I possibly meet the 600 word requirement to write this review when nothing happens for 90% of this movie. 238 words to go here. Now 211. Words words words. More words. 166 characters to go. I really need to submit this review to warn the world of this movie. 75 characters to go. Now down to 39. Getting so close. 16 to go. I will make the requirement.

It has a dark undertone to it, like Tales From the Crypt...

[xxmisssvxx · 8/10 · 14 September 2022]

I watched this tonight to kickstart my horror movie-watching a from now to November 1st (even though I watch horror year round). This was such a fun, mysterious film, with a dark undertone to it and feels a bit like something from Tales From the Crypt. Even towards the end, I was waiting for the Crypt Keeper to close out the story tale.

Surprisingly, this film has a lot of small talk that you would think would make the film seem boring because of so much dialogue but it all has a purpose, and Mina's (Kate Bosworth) character is very inviting with a touch of creepiness, which is how Hap (Justin Long) got involved in the first place. Personally, I would've preferred more of a backstory behind the sisters but I also understand why the film turned out how it did - the short storytelling makes up for the lack of backstory, and delivers quite well. Think of yourself around a group of friends listening to another friend tell a ghost story and you understand that this film makes you feel as if you're a part of that ghost story.

I have to say this one was good, a definite 8/10 for me because in some cases, less is more.

IMO this is worth watching

[desperado_here · 7/10 · 17 March 2023]

It's not as bad as everyone is makin it. Justin Long kinda grows on you in this movie. His character is a little cheesy, corny, and a bit naive. Initially, he kind of annoys you with how cheesy and clueless he is. Then, you soon realize his somewhat desperate behavior is actually very comical. He had me rollin. The stuff he says, the way he lies : it's like watching one of those funny episodes from that blind date show from way back. That mixed with films: hard candy and the invitation. I will admit that there isn't a lot of people in the film. This is one of the reasons it reminds you of hard candy plus you realizing that everyone ISNT who they say they is like hard candy and the invitation. It has a very dark feel throughout the film both figuratively and literally. Lastly, I think this movie is better than the 4.7 rating it has. Not sure why it was so low. My only guess is maybe because it's not fast paced and there aren't many characters to take away from. The story is dark and has a slow reveal with only a few characters in one location which is why it really will remind u of hard candy and the invitation.

A rare dialog driven horror movie

[kkrouner-1 · 7/10 · 10 January 2023]

I haven't really seen a horror movie like this before. It's a small cast and dialog driven. The type that could be a stage play. The writing could have been a bit better, but the acting makes up for it. Would love to see more horror movies like this!

It's in a similar vein to Big Kahuna. Justin Long and Kate Bosworth do fantastic jobs as always. The other 2 actresses I didn't recognize, but they delivered as well. Suspense is steadily built in masterful ways that keep you ready for the shoe to drop at any moment, or possibly not at all!

I'm not sure why people seemed to dislike this so much. I almost wanted to give it a 10 just to counter the unreasonable hate, but in the end I had to grade it where it was.