- Ted Mosby: First of all, no ninja is getting the jump on me; I have the reflexes of a jungle-
- [Robin slaps him]
- Lily Aldrin: ...tree?
- Barney Stinson: New York is never finished Theodore. She's a lady only a handful of architects ever get to dance with. Do not miss your turn.
- Ted Mosby: We should buy a bar.
- Barney Stinson: We should totally buy a bar!
- Marshall Eriksen: We should absolutely, totally, buy a bar!
- Robin Scherbatsky: Really, the only sensible idea right now.
- Marshall Eriksen: Oh, oh, and ready?
- Barney Stinson: What?
- Marshall Eriksen: It's a theme bar... it's a courtroom!
- Ted Mosby: Yes! Where the bartenders wear sexy judges' robes.
- Marshall Eriksen: Uh, I'll allow it!
- Barney Stinson: It's the only court where you show up, then get served!
- Robin Scherbatsky: You're judged by a jury of you beers!
- Ted Mosby: [Ted is roused by someone from his bed and is startled at who it is] Barney, what are you doing here?
- Barney Stinson: [In aristocratic voice] Who is this Barney? My name is John Clifford Larrabee, architect of the Arcadian, and I'm visiting you, in a dreeeeaam.
- Ted Mosby: Really, because it looks like my insane friend rented a costume and broke into my apartment in the middle of the night for what I wish was the first time.
- Barney Stinson: [normal voice] It's a dream, it is, so...
- [assumes aristocratic voice again]
- Barney Stinson: Theodore, do not try to save the Arcadian.
- Ted Mosby: Barney, there's condoms in the drawer, just take it and get out...
- Barney Stinson: I am not Barney!
- [activates flickering lights]
- Ted Mosby: Whoo, lighting change!
- Mr. Horvath: [the Landmark Preservation Commission has come to a decision regarding the Arcadian] Last night, this committee came to a vote, and while we've all felt from the very beginning that the Arcadian was, well, an eyesore, Mr Mosby's surprising testimony about the lion's head stonework left us with no choice but to declare it a landmark.
- [Zoey's camp applauds]
- Mr. Horvath: But then, something else happened last night. That same lion's head stonework... disappeared,
- [audience is agape in shock]
- Mr. Horvath: so it makes our job easier. Motion denied.
- [bangs gavel]