- Barney Stinson: You're all the Blitz! I slept with that cute Indian girl that cuts my hair.
- Robin Scherbatsky: What does that have to do with anything?
- Barney Stinson: Nothing I just forgot to brag about it before!
- Robin Scherbatsky: Ted, you violated a dead turkey with another dead turkey! Don't let that be in vain.
- Lily Aldrin: It's a booma-wang.
- Robin Scherbatsky: Nice
- Lily Aldrin: Thanks.
- Robin Scherbatsky: No I meant the wang.
- Ted Mosby: Lily, do you have any idea how many people I blindly hated for you? I hated Renée Zellweger with a burning passion for eight years only to discover you meant Reese Witherspoon!
- Lily Aldrin: Hey! I will hate her until I will get my money back for You, Me and Dupree!
- Ted Mosby: THAT'S KATE HUDSON!
- Lily Aldrin: Oh yeah... That's who I hate.
- [to the others]
- Lily Aldrin: Guys, we hate Kate Hudson.
- Zoey Pierson: Barney was here? I was walking around half naked.
- Barney Stinson: Aw Man! Wait which half?
- Barney Stinson: Robin! Robin! I will pay you to be the Blitz. A hundred dollars, no! Ten thousand dollars, no! Sixty bucks. What's a lot of money to someone like you?
- Barney Stinson: You can't go now! It's the night before Thanksgiving! College chicks are back in town. Their mom just made a snide comment about the weight they gained. They called her a bitch, but deep down they know she's right. And they're about to walk through that door, where we will be waiting with some light beer and some rock hard approval. WHA-WHAT! U-UP!
- Marshall Eriksen: The Blitz isn't something that can be bought or sold.
- Zoey Pierson: Yeah, it's not like Ted's integrity.
- Ted Mosby: Oh, what was that? I was distracted by the four-karat diamond your 53-year-old husband bought you.
- Steve Henry: Facial!
- Ted Mosby: Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a turturkeykey to baste.
- Zoey Pierson: I'm coming with you.
- Ted Mosby: No! I baste alone.
- Zoey Pierson: Oh, I'm sure you're a master baster, Ted.
- Steve Henry: Word play. Loving it!
- Zoey Pierson: But relax. I've got a ton of sides to heat up since my plans fell through.
- Ted Mosby: Who canceled? Your coven?
- Steve Henry: Coven, group of witches! Boom!
- Zoey Pierson: Yeah, they were worn out from putting that spell on your hair!
- Steve Henry: Oh! Serve returned!
- Ted Mosby: Are you happy? You're ruining Thanksgiving!
- Zoey Pierson: Well, you're not exactly who I thought I'd be spending Thanksgiving with, either!
- Steve Henry: God, I'm so happy to be here. My face hurts from smiling!
- Everyone: THE GENTLEMAN!
- Ted Mosby: What was that?
- Barney Stinson: Oh Blitz you had to be there.
- Ted Mosby: I'm not the Blitz!