- Jim Powell: Wait a second. Did you ever see "Die Hard"?
- George St. Cloud: Did you just ask... I am insulted that you asked me that.
- Jim Powell: Air vents. I'll bet these go to anywhere in the building.
- George St. Cloud: So? Like you said, Jacobs will get a little suspicious if you jumped down in the middle of the squad room and took out four armed felons.
- Jim Powell: That's why John McClane didn't take on all the terrorists at the same time. He picked 'em off one by one.
- George St. Cloud: Oh, I get it. But in order to get them alone, you need a man on the inside.
- Jim Powell: Oh, no, it's too dangerous.
- George St. Cloud: Hey, Bruce Willis would've never had gotten out of there alive if he didn't have that black dude helping him. Jim, let me be your black dude.
- Stephanie Powell: All right, when was the last time we ate together, just the four of us?
- J.J. Powell: Uh, 4:00 P.M. Pacific Standard Time on Christmas Eve?
- Mr. Litchfield: The rules are as follows: no electronic devices, no talking, no exiting this classroom without my permission, and keep your eyes on your homework at all times.
- Natalie Poston: What if I've already completed my homework?
- Mr. Litchfield: Then you can work on the Latin translation for "Not my problem."
- Natalie Poston: You can't leave.
- J.J. Powell: I can't? I thought that if it can snow in Visalia, anything's possible.
- George St. Cloud: [held hostage, handcuffed to a pole] I gotta go, man. I gotta go bad. Look, speaking as your attorney, I advise you against preventing a man form doing his business.
- Austin Davies: Well, speaking as the guy with the gun, I'd advise you to hold it.
- Austin Davies: Sacrificing yourself for the bitch that's trying to bust you - that's commendable. Stupid, but commendable.
- Chris Minor: Look, hey, that's the problem with you smart kids - too much time thinkin' about things, not enough time doin' 'em.
- Bailey Browning: Wow, you guys are like "Ocean's 11" - minus the hot guys, nice suits, and anything remotely interesting.
- Chris Minor: Oh, yeah? What is it you have that's so interesting, Bailey - besides, hmm, padded bras and trust funds?