Hollywood Sex Wars (2011) User Reviews

No prisoners, but a lot of casualties

[kosmasp · 3/10 · 9 May 2013]

Of course this is not a real war, but since the word is being used in the title, you might as well use it for some puns. The movie itself does have some fair points and there is something to say about the general theme it tries to portray. There is a lot that one could've done with that theme. I'm not even going to blame the actors (I'll give them the benefit of the doubt and pretend it was the way they were directed), but the screenwriter could've done a better job (unless they didn't want him too, of course).

There is nudity and profanity, but you can check those boxes when you see the rating, so don't feel offended if you watch it and you think it's too racy (when it actually isn't that much, especially if you look at french cinema). Don't waste your time would be my advice, but with comedy it's tough to say, what makes people laugh ...

BEING HOT IS REALLY EXPENSIVE

[nogodnomasters · 3/10 · 14 September 2018]

This is a silly sex romp about relationships. The hot chicks in town go from beyond having their own clique to communicating about their dates through a web site. This looked like a fairly funny idea, however it was underutilized. Three guys are attempting to get laid by hot chicks, but fail to do so. They come under the tutoring of Johnny Eyelash (Mario Diaz) who knows all their secrets.

The back and forth war was poorly developed as were the characters were never got to know. The film equates dating to prostitution. It had some cute ideas, such as the women meeting at a heart shaped table and using a high heel as a gavel, but that was about as funny as things got. Most of the time the production had predictable plot and old jokes that didn't work. Better off watching a Julie Strain film, such as "Delta Delta Die." If you are a fan of the "American Pie" series (and I am not) you might enjoy this type of humor.

F-bomb, sex, nudity (Shyla Stylez, Suzy Kaye, Christine Nguyen plus many more)

Nothing much to see here...

[paul_haakonsen · 3/10 · 4 January 2022]

When I sat down in 2022 to watch the 2011 comedy "Hollywood Sex Wars", I have to admit that I was expecting to watch something that would make me laugh.

But that was not the case with the movie written and directed by Paul Sapiano. This movie was just blatantly horrible and boring. It felt like I was watching a movie concocted by a randy teenager. Amazing how some scripts actually make the transition from paper to actual footage on the screen.

"Hollywood Sex Wars" was a swing and a miss, and it most certainly didn't make me laugh, not even once. Actually, the storyline was so boring and pointless that I started using my phone and looking at stuff online instead. Needless to say that the movie never caught on after that point.

The acting performances in the movie were semi-adequate. I mean, the actors and actresses virtually had nothing to work with in terms of a proper script or interesting characters. But I will say that they definitely put their hearts and efforts into it, and it wasn't traditional low budget, questionable acting performances that you see in some movie, so that counted for something. Needless to say that I wasn't familiar with a single actor or actress in this movie.

I am sure that there is an audience out there for a movie such as "Hollywood Sex Wars". I just wasn't in that particular audience, as I prefer a tad more to movies than sex jokes, dildos and topless women.

My rating of "Hollywood Sex Wars" lands on a more than generous three out of ten stars.

Dreadful

[L. Lion · 1/10 · 13 January 2012]

Want to see a movie that gets less sexy the more naked women it has in it? That becomes more turgid the more the characters try to crack lame jokes? Then this is the movie for you.

Paul Sapiano apparently learned about filmmaking by watching nothing but pornos. The problem is that HSW isn't sexually appealing at all. Not only does it not contain any actual sex, but your average porno is a step up in terms of quality of writing, acting, and technical merit.

The plot? The bimbos form a club to teach women that they should bilk as much money out of men as possible without giving them any actual sex. The studs form a club to learn how to scam as much sex out of the women without actually giving them any money. That's it. That is the plot. If it sounds amazingly inept, it is. If all the characters sound repellent, even the pretty naked girls, THEY ARE. This is one of the most incompetent movies I've ever seen. Avoid at all costs.

Takes no prisoners

[alejandrosiles · 8 November 2011]

I don't think this is as LA-centric as some people make it out to be. Anyone in a city with a nightlife can pretty much relate to how hard it is to find someone to date, and how often people flat out refuse to settle, either because they want to keep their options open or because they see relationships as being more than just about satisfying emotional needs.

Beyond that, this movie takes no prisoners. It makes fun of relationships, it makes fun of players, it makes fun of women who care more about how much a guy makes than who he is, it makes fun of drugs, it makes fun of city life, it makes fun of irresponsible people, it makes fun of hipsters, it makes fun of people who still harbor dreams of their band making it big past the age of 30, it makes fun of subcultures, it makes fun of plastic surgery, it makes fun of Star Wars cosplayers and other fetishes -- it makes fun of everything.

This movie is like the honey badger. It doesn't care. It just takes what it wants.

Sexy, Naughty, Silly, and Funny

[gradyharp · 5/10 · 28 December 2011]

Hollywood SEX WARS will most likely appeal to those who love the Hangover/Bridesmaids/Knocked Up /etc movies. It is outrageously written and directed by out- there Paul Sapiano, and deals with sparing a group of nerdy guys under the tutelage of Johnny Eyelash (Mario Diaz, best known for 'Adam and Steve', 'Killer Drag Queens on Dope', etc) - Dominique Purdy, Richard Blair, Nicholas Cooper - who learn how to be players, against a group of women who have banded together by Big Wendy (Jenae Alt) and Little Wendy (Eli Jane) to learn how to get what they want form men without the clutter of a relationship.

Basically this film is a parody on the far edges of men and women in the dating spectrum. Sapiano manages to expose and take a long look at dating and drugs, big city life, plastic surgery, fetishes, all with the accompaniment of a lot of exposed huge mammary glands and naughty talk. If that sort of thing entertains then this is one film that is sure to please. it is high class, big budget sleaze (if there is such a thing). Buyer beware!

Grady Harp

Don't.....

[TheNugget · 2/10 · 5 January 2012]

If there's anything on the shopping channels on TV watch it instead of wasting your time with this, meant to be a comedy???? I didn't laugh once just a little smile at the naked boobs other than that cant say anything good about this movie. Had the potential to be funny but just didn't cut it. Don't even think Bravo would have put it on their channel Full of fake boobed women acting like the sex an the city characters but much worse! Please please please don't bother!!! Like the 40 thousand so poor people who have on Extra Torrent!!!! Don't even know why I'm bothering to write a review on something so bad, if you want comedy watch The Inbetweeners Movie haven't laughed so much since the first hangover movie

Simple concept comes together

[Floated2 · 4/10 · 24 December 2022]

Seeing the title, people may assume it's another Asylum skin film. This film is similar to those Asylum ones in its plot but there seems to be more detail and more drama than those standard comedies.

Labeled as a comedy, nothing is exactly clever or witty. No laughs but it is watchable. The lead character is surprisingly likeable for the womanizer type and the clients he helps out aren't bad either. The women do vary from the smart mastermind scheming type to the silly and clueless. No problems there.

In the end, it is predictable in how both genders are scheming against one another and of course each side finds out. The voice narration in the end from one of the characters felt somewhat out of place.

A notch above several of those T & A Asylum films. Although nothing exactly special. A one time watch is enough.

city of angels? not so much.

[valeriewv · 8/10 · 3 November 2011]

There is something about living in Los Angeles that makes you want to shred it into a million pieces. I can't count the number of apocalyptic films I've seen recently that took turns completely tearing it apart. This isn't an endtimes flick, but it can't resist the urge of taking aim at the city. The result is absolutely hilarious.

Anyone who doesn't think the characters have sufficient depth to be believable has never been to Los Angeles. The scene where the guy chops up a Barbie to illustrate what LA girls are under the cute clothes, shoes, implants, makeup and hair is iconic, and so is the scene where the girls are doing yoga in high heels and talking about how men are just like dogs. While thousands of kids are out protesting the role corporations have come to play in our lives, there is a whole culture of people who neither know nor care about current events.

Fortunately for all of us, these people are too busy hooking up to ever vote.

Mindblowing Perspective!

[marineproductions1 · 7/10 · 14 September 2012]

Just saw this film. I have to say it's underrated! I gave it 7/10. The craft is refined. Performance good. Story good. Not just good, but brings some interesting mindblowing perspectives.

Before this film I have no idea of the dating war, the girl's group in put in a modern day Hollywood setting. This film just pieces them together in a decently crafted way (in terms of cuts and timing of music)

The camera are placed to the right places. The lighting about right. It works okay. The script the dialogue the performance is great.

I would've given it an 8/10 but the ending kinda falls a bit hasty with the voice over explanation to the end and too fast to the credit. I guess if the ending can elaborate more and develop more on itself and the subject matter it'll be a better film.

So overall 7/10

Hollywood sex wars

[pamelanpch · 3 November 2011]

A lot of movies have tried to portray the sort of characters that one sees in Hollywood Sex Wars without much success. Somehow, this comedy manages to make everyone come out looking human. Yes, the situations are extreme and often hilariously ridiculous, but even the craziest characters come out looking human, which adds the missing degree of realism.

The writing is smart, but the jokes range from insidery to lowest common denominator, so there is a little something for everyone to enjoy. Some people have said this isn't a very good date movie, but I think it is, even if the couple watching enjoy it for altogether different reasons.

Decent Animal House Style Flick With A Twist

[jesussaddle · 8/10 · 31 May 2013]

Really enjoyed watching this little gem of a picture. It may not be understood by people who haven't encountered some of the behavior depicted here. However, if you live in Hollywood California, you have run into some of this for bad or good. (You may ask, "How can any of this behavior be good?" Well, some of you will not ask this, and you know who you are.

The bad rating for this film is probably due to the lower budget, more campy attitude, more of a Scary Movie type of humor, without the parodying, on top of the totally jaded outlooks, offensive attitudes and lifestyles.

Well directed, humorous story line and some better comedic bits than others, but good acting, Dominique Purdy is great, plus a good music track. But sorry, this is sure to be generally offensive, because, hey, it reflects some pretty gnarly, jaded concepts of what is moral behavior. It is particularly funny when the male character doing the teaching is criticizing his students for immoral ideas.

Paul knows his audience

[pop-tart · 4 November 2011]

Hollywood Sex Wars is nothing like Boys and Girls Guide to Getting down. There is an evolution in the style of the writing; the story is a lot tighter, though the subject matter covered is very similar. Paul Sapiano offers the usual serving of sex, drugs and cynicism, but this time with a twist: the perfect LA happy ending (outdone only by Kim Kardashians multimillion dollar-making wedding and her soon to be even more lucrative divorce). Anyone familiar with Sapiano's work can see this writer/director likes to stick with talent that has proved itself, and you can tell that Dominique Purdy (who also starred in Boys and Girls Guide) is a young actor that is going to go places.

It was hilarious to see gay icon Mario Diaz playing no-nonsense womanizer Johnny Eyelash, I think that's a little detail that a lot of people who are not familiar with some of the players in this film will miss that adds a whole dimension of funny to the movie. Christine Nguyen is brilliant as a chattering bratty club girl, and it's a shame her part wasn't bigger. Eli Jane's comedic timing cannot be overstated, either -- the scene where she demands that her boyfriend buy her a house that results in a fight where she threatens to call the police and accuse him of abusing her would be as horrifying as it sounds were it not for her ability to convey the absurdity of her position through her facial expressions and actions.

Funny, Witty, Smart, Sexy and Stylish!

[movieguy645 · 8/10 · 10 November 2011]

Writer/director Paul Sapiano does it again in his new film, Hollywood Sex Wars. A follow up to his cult hit, The Boys and Girls Guide to Getting Down, Sapiano delivers a comedic punch that will appeal to Hollywood hipsters, small town suburbanites, and everyone in between!

Based on actual experiences, we follow Johnny Eyelash, a suave, sophisticated player - maybe the coolest dude in Hollywood. He leads a group of hapless guys looking for action, through the minefield of love and the trenches of sex and straight into the wars that go on every night in Hollywood. Ya' know the war...guys lookin' to score and chicks lookin' for more! Hollywood Sex Wars!

The guys' opposition is fierce, though! These sexy girls are no easy match for this rag tag group ofnew recruits. Big Wendy, Little Wendy, and the rest of the ladies' crew have gotten together to form their own sort of trade union, so that together they can use their sexuality to combat the guerrilla tactics that Johnny Eyelash and his protégés have unleashed against them.

What ensues becomes a battle of keen wits, small bits and big t*ts.

Do yourself a favor and watch it now. You'll be glad you did.

And hey, there are tons of hot chicks in this movie! What more could you want?!?!?!

It's a Funny Movie!

[Dark_Lord_Mark · 12 April 2019]

I know...I know it's 20_ _ so nothing is funny and everything is offensive.

This movie was FUNNY! It's about men and women and the games they play. It's a sex comedy about men having sex and doing everything they can, and women having sex, doing everything they can to get men to pay for stuff. Sounds like Prostitutes...? Yes!!!!

That's all you need to know. Some people are such YOUNG FARTS, they cannot understand what a sex comedy is.

I miss the days of being offensive. Comedy is supposed to offend, and this does and hilariously so.

I give it an 8 out of 10.