- Kelly Kapoor: Ultimatums are key. Basically nobody does anything for me anymore unless I threaten to kill myself.
- Oscar Martinez: [Speaking to the camera] Robert seems great. He's very handsome. Firm handshake. He's gay. Good sense of humor.
- Stanley Hudson: [Speaking to the camera] I have been trying to get on jury duty every year since I was 18 years old. To get and go sit in an air-conditioned room, downtown, judging people, while my lunch was paid for. That is the life.
- Michael Scott: Thank you, Scranton Strangler, I love you. You just took one more person's breath away.
- Ryan Howard: He's rubbing his neck. He's rubbing his neck.
- Kelly Kapoor: He's rubbing his neck.
- Ryan Howard: He's rubbing his neck.
- Andy Bernard: Oh! Scranton Strangler!
- Toby Flenderson: I can neither confirm nor deny this. Let's just say, I'll be up to my neck in jury duty.
- Meredith Palmer: What does the Strangler look like? Is he gorgeous? He looks gorgeous in the drawings.
- Kevin Malone: Yeah.
- Meredith Palmer: That scowl.
- Toby Flenderson: I can't talk about it or I'll get removed from the jury.
- Michael Scott: And then he will come back here and replace Holly. So stop asking him questions.
- Dwight Schrute: [after hiding inside of a snowman in order to ambush Jim] I have no feeling in my fingers or penis, but I think it was worth it.
- Dwight Schrute: Oh, my God! It's the first snowfall of Christmas. Is that just so magical for you, little girl? Can you not wait to have a hot chocolate, and cuddle up with papa and tell him about all your Christmas dreams, hmm?
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