- Robin Scherbatsky: Hey. Um, when we were dating, did - did I make you feel needed?
- Barney Stinson: No, I didn't feel like you needed me at all.
- Robin Scherbatsky: [sighs] That's what I thought. Uh, I'm sorry.
- [turns to leave]
- Barney Stinson: Wait, where are you g- that's a compliment! You're the least needy woman I've ever met. That's awesome! No guy's gonna say "Who's your daddy?" to Robin Scherbatsky; you're your own daddy. And mommy. And weird survivalist uncle who lives in a cabin with a shotgun blaming stuff on the government. And that is what makes you the most amazing, strong, independent woman I've ever banged.
- Barney Stinson: Want to come to my house and play telephone? I've got the string you've got the cans.
- Robin Scherbatsky: [about Ted dating Becky] Ted, of all the women in New York, you had to go out with an eight-year-old girl?
- Ted Mosby: Not what it sounds like, folks.
- Marshall Eriksen: How come the creepy kid in a horror movie is always a girl? Or twin girls, who speak in unison.
- Lily Aldrin: What about Chucky?
- Marshall Eriksen: A, he was a doll. B, he was possessed by an adult serial killer, and C, how could you bring up Chucky right before bed?
- Marshall Eriksen: Hey, Barney, that prime rib was surprisingly good, but it's ten thirty in the morning I don't really need to see a lady get naked and dance.
- Barney Stinson: Oh Esther gets naked, but she doesn't dance... That WAS my card!