Neil Dudgeon nel ruolo di...
DCI John Barnaby
- DS Ben Jones: Poor kid. Still, family money, good lawyer, should see her right.
- DCI John Barnaby: Are you serious? She's lying through her perfect little teeth.
- DS Ben Jones: Really?
- DCI John Barnaby: Yes!
- DS Ben Jones: Well, she seemed genuine to me.
- DCI John Barnaby: That is because she is a pretty girl, and you are a young man and your brains are still in your trousers.
- DS Ben Jones: Thank you, sir.
- DCI John Barnaby: I, on the other hand, being a dessicated old goat, don't fall for that crapola for one second.
- DS Ben Jones: Oh, good.
- [last lines]
- [SPOILER ALERT!]
- [DCI Barnaby confronts the murderer who strings him up from the rafters of a barn and prepares to kill him. DS Jones gets there just in the nick of time and pushes the murderer to the floor]
- DCI John Barnaby: Ahem.
- DS Ben Jones: [Jones looks upwards and sees Barnaby. He suppresses a smirk] Oh.
- DCI John Barnaby: Have you killed him?
- [Jones checks for a pulse]
- DS Ben Jones: No.
- DCI John Barnaby: Good.
- DS Ben Jones: Should I, uh...
- [Jones mimes taking photographs]
- DCI John Barnaby: Get me down?
- DS Ben Jones: You know, I should get some photos of the crime scene.
- DCI John Barnaby: Not if you ever want to have children.
- [later, Barnaby and Jones are walking to the car]
- DCI John Barnaby: Tom said you were the right stuff.
- DS Ben Jones: Thank you, Sir.
- DCI John Barnaby: Of course, if word of my, um, "suspension" ever gets out...
- DS Ben Jones: Oh I don't suppose it will, Sir.
- DCI John Barnaby: Good.
- DS Ben Jones: Not while my career maintains its steady upward trajectory.
- [they both chuckle]
- [Jones catches Barnaby talking to his dog about the murder case]
- DCI John Barnaby: Ah, Jones. Can I help?
- DS Ben Jones: [diffidently] Sorry, I thought you were talking to someone.
- DCI John Barnaby: I was talking to this dog. He's a Sprechhund - that's German for a dog you talk to.
- DCI John Barnaby: It isn't always the poor preying on the rich. Sometimes the water runs uphill.
- DS Ben Jones: Sorry?
- DCI John Barnaby: Lao-tzu. He founded Taoism.
- DS Ben Jones: Not around here, he didn't.
- Harriet Wingate: [after being confronted with a past sexual indiscretion] It was the Sixties.
- DCI John Barnaby: How many times have I heard that as an excuse for interesting behavior.
- DCI John Barnaby: I hate coincidences.
- DS Ben Jones: So did your predecessor.
- DCI John Barnaby: Right. He taught me: John, if it smells...
- DS Ben Jones: it's probably off.
- DS Ben Jones: The DCI was on holiday so I was running things.
- DCI John Barnaby: Tom took a holiday?
- DS Ben Jones: Joyce threatened him.
- DCI John Barnaby: [Sarcastically, after Charlotte has acted cattily] Charming girl!
- Kate Cameron: [Proudly] She's got balls... unlike her father.
- DS Ben Jones: Are you interested in classic cars, sir?
- DCI John Barnaby: Only if it's got a flashing light and gets me home quickly,
- DCI John Barnaby: Phones are quiet.
- DS Ben Jones: After five, sir. Villains are having their tea now. Get back to work later.
- Peter Fossett: Oh, be quiet. I'm not stupid. I can see an amateur psychologist at work.
- DCI John Barnaby: Amateur? How dare you? I've got a degree!
- DS Ben Jones: [after Jessica has shown them both a dvd of her having sex] I feel terrible. I virtually told her she was a slag.
- DCI John Barnaby: Well, we all can't be sensitive, caring, and diplomatic. Sometimes we're just woodentops.
- DCI John Barnaby: Ahh, that's why. Here, look at that.
- [Shows picture to his dog]
- DCI John Barnaby: He was only thirty, but half his hair was gone and the rest was ginger. Maybe it was suicide, after all.
- Peter Fossett: You're trying to bend my head around a post, well you can't! So shut up and prepare to meet your maker!
- DCI John Barnaby: I don't believe in God.
- Peter Fossett: I do!