Bite Marks (2011) User Reviews

'Bite Marks', a gay vampire comedy

[pattamus-1 · 4/10 · 16 June 2011]

Since no one reviewed this, I decided I would since I made the first thread and a few people are at least talking about this, so might as well review it.

First off, this is a genre movie that targets a certain demographic (See above if you don't know what i'm getting at. It's a rare "gay" horror comedy. When I first watched this, I didn't know that.

Knowing what it is about, and not taking it too seriously, this could be OK for people into this kind of thing.

The movie was on a shoestring budget, with only about 2 locations, and a few actors. One of them is the guy who played "Evil Ed" in Fright Night, which i'm sure will attract some to this.

Basically, there's a gay couple and an in the closet "straight guy" in a truck with coffins in the back. Of course we all know what comes out of the coffins. They did do some creative things with the vamps, at least I will give them that.

Most of the jokes fall flat and it's totally schlocky, but that is what it is aiming for I guess. It wasn't for me, and if you don't like things of this type, i'd suggest you miss it.

The director or anyone representing this is missing, but I have a feeling one of them posted on the boards.. This probably won't even be picked up for distribution.

I gave this a 4/10 because I did watch it all the way through, because of what they did with the vamps, and a few of the jokes were OK, but most fell flat.

At first when I didn't know what this was supposed to be, I rated it lower. But if you want a silly movie to watch with some throwback references and homages, this might pass some time for you one night.

An average horror movie

[atinder · 5/10 · 15 June 2011]

I am not big fan of vamps movies, however this movie was horror/comedy!

The movies about two gays guys, who are on a trip and they get a ride with the trucker, who carrying coffins in the truck.

The movie takes a while for anything to real happen and the first half hour of the movie, the first scene in the movie, we see Trucker and his girlfriends and soon later. about other 20 Min's the guys having sex in toilet, when tucker stops for some lunch!

With that out the way, the movie really get started after 30mins mark,then they found out there are some creatures, the couple makes some comments about Dawn of the dead both! old and remake, they find out that are they vampires.

This movie makes it's own rules long the way, which l liked!

Really liked the fact that your Urine could kill a vampire, which I found really funny and never seen before, they are some really funny moments and they are some silly moments, which are little too baby-ish something that you will see in kids TV show.

Acting was okay but the vampires were not scary at all, but I never found vampires scary anyway (Expect for the Boy at the window in Salem's lot ) make up effect were really poor for the vampires.

It's was a fun movie 5 out of 10, it's not avoid movie at all but don't rush it out to see either, as it's just another An average horror movie.

An OK gay comedy/horror movie.

[preppy-3 · 5/10 · 9 May 2013]

A bickering gay couple--Cary (Windham Beacham) and Vogel (David Alanson)--are backpacking across the country. They get tired and hitchhike and are picked up by hunky handsome trucker Brewster (Benjamin Lutz). He's transporting coffins (!!!) to a funeral home. However the truck breaks down near a deserted junkyard, night is falling and it seems the coffins in back have blood thirsty vampires...

It starts off OK. Lutz is a good actor and bares his butt briefly. Beacham and Alanson are OK too--and Alanson bares HIS butt. The basic plot is interesting but the film gets more convoluted as it goes on...and stupider. The comedy isn't that good either. If veers from OK to groan worthy and there are some gross out gags that I could have lived without. Still this is not horrible. Lutz and Alanson are VERY attractive, the vampire makeup is effective and there's a hilarious (and ACCURATE) conversation on vampires in films! I laughed out loud when Lutz says, "If you guys talk about "Twilight" I'm throwing you out!" So--all in all--just OK.

Another Gay Vampire Film

[gavin6942 · 23 October 2011]

Truck-driver Brewster takes over his missing brother's delivery of a load of coffins to a funeral home. He picks up hitchhiking gay couple Cary and Vogel whose relationship is in trouble to help him stay awake but when his GPS leads them into a deserted junkyard, his truck breaks down, stranding them.

Stephen Geoffreys (known to you either as a child star in horror or an adult star in gay porn) makes an appearance. I suppose that gives this film some sort of reason to see it, but not much.

Really, if you want to see gay vampires, see "Vampire Boys". While this film is (believe it or not) better made, "Vampire Boys" is clearly intended more for the gay audience. This one tries to appeal to all with some topless girl... I will give them a point for referencing Cary Elwes, but then take that point away for ripping off the "Gremlins" theme song.

Oh, and if you are at all homophobic, this is not the film for you. There is a scene that should not be bothersome, but if guys loving guys makes you squeamish, you will hate it.

No Bite

[thesar-2 · 3/10 · 3 March 2013]

Aside from the wimpiest vampires since Twilight, the Bite Marks group at least attempted to make their, ah hem, mark and intertwine what they perceived as comedy, horror *AND* a gay story. Kudos for the effort.

Now, that said…This was pretty bad. I got the dark humor, the movie references, that, sadly, were the easiest and least depth ones of the genre and the earnest attempts from the stars to create a low-budget horror with gay characters at the helm vs. the 90%'ers, but it still was unworthy of watching.

Trucker #1 gets taken down so his cheatin' brother can take on the shipment/job. Along the way, he picks up a couple and upon reaching their destination, all hell kinda breaks loose when a vampire attacks the now-broken down trailer in a junk yard that UNSURPRISINGLY doesn't have cell reception.

While they actually come up with some minute original powers of the vampire and clearly state "this isn't like the movie vampires," they sorely backtrack and include several scenes of the vampire lore found in other movies.

But…this movie isn't to be taken seriously, and they shove that down your throat repeatedly.

I wish I could recommend this, because I love to support those with $5 in their pockets and decide to make their project come alive on screen. All efforts aside, this is a clunker and hopefully the next gay-themed monster movie with have better writing, funnier dialogue and believable special effects.

Oh, and there's a point of "not showing" the gore for either suspense or tension, but to do it because of lack of budget is just embarrassing and so 30 years ago.

Skip it.

B-Gold

[mangoamante · 5/10 · 1 November 2021]

This was a fun and funny B-rate gem. Don't expect great acting, but there were some good campy moments and fans of B-rate will get a kick out of it. Plus the main characters were gay guys so that's a nice twist.

Good movie, too bad it had lag in dialogue

[lorddrewsus · 5/10 · 16 October 2021]

The "in-your-face" homosexuality and assorted sex aren't the problem for me. The director/script writer having bad dialogue or a lack of it was. It has a cooler semi-original plot, that does seem to take a backseat to the sexuality. But, half of all movies do that.

Not as bad as most have said...

[sammie-hartman · 6/10 · 27 July 2011]

Okay so this is by no means an award winning feature... I'm not even sure if you could call it a B title but I rather enjoyed it for the most part.

YES, it is cheesy! YES, it is lacking a budget! YES, it is not a masterpiece!

But it is fun... David Alanson does a good job in his first feature role. And he's not bad on the eyes either. Windham Beacham, veteran of gay cinema, plays Alanson's lover and Benjamin Lutz in his second feature holds own as well.

What I found rather interesting was the appearance of Stephen Geoffreys whom I have not seen in a feature since the 80's. Geoffreys' had left main stream cinema for a career in the adult industry for many years, under the names Sam Ritter and Stephan Bordeaux, and believe it or not was quite good as a hunky well chiseled power bottom.

Is this something to run out in a panic to see? No... but it is worth a watch on Netflix or a rental on an otherwise boring night.

I gave it 6 out of 10.

Fabulously simple traditional horror concept, perfectly executed.

[lezbrarian55 · 9/10 · 1 September 2013]

This movie was so much fun. I love a good, cheesy horror movie that is genuinely scary but also filled with moments of genuine OMGWTFRUN!!!!!

If you're not yelling at the screen and looking through your fingers a good portion of the time, a horror movie's not doing its job. Add to that all the sexy and the gay and this lezzie was all about it.

There need to be more gay and lezzie horror films that hit all the beats.

The casting was brilliant. The actors have such chemistry and they were chewing the scenery in the best possibly way.

And let me just say, Windham Beacham, Benjamin Lutz, John Werskey are a stellar trio. They fully inhabited their characters and made you care if they lived or died and David Alanson was charming (if frustrating, lol)

Re-watched for a 3rd time, still screamed, laughed and cried. Also, can I just say how fabulous it is to have this super serious, totally relatable relationship processing going on during a deadly vampire attack? Brilliant.

Benjamin brought the sleaze. I've seen most of his films and he's always lovely but he dug down deep into something and made me hate him. No small job. Honey, he was perfectly horrible.

The horror was just gory enough to give you sufficient "EW" but also had a sense of humor that kept it from being gross or OTT.

I just had fun watching this movie and I will definitely add it to my Queer Halloween Marathon this year.

.

A gay horror comedy!!!!

[ohlabtechguy · 6/10 · 12 November 2018]

Another freebie from Youtube. Got sucked into it right away. Pace was quick. Leading 3 actors were young(ish) and cute. Easy to look at them, especially when they are all snuggled(trapped) in the semi's cabin. This was an obvious horror comedy. Dialogue had some funny unexpected surprises. Super cool when the "straight" guy started peeing in one of the vampire's mouths by happenstance. The head chick vampire was quite imposing and determined to get every last one of those "pussies". Happy ending. I found it entertaining.

An entertaining horror/comedy flick.

[napfn20 · 12 November 2011]

For a low budget movie, director Mark Bessenger does a lot to entertain you. Benjamin Lutz is great in his roll as Brewster and pairs well with the other two main characters (played by David Alanson and Wyndham Beacham), making for a great ride. The effects were fun, if a bit cheesy. And the movie never takes itself too seriously, which makes it much easier to forgive some of the effects of having no budget. (That and the fact that there's so much eye candy in this film (thank you for David Alanson:-)) Definitely recommend watching this one. Not sure if it would be as good watching it at home but it was great at a theater. Try catching it as it makes the festival circuit, you wont be disappointed.

Awful, but entertaining

[derekthayer · 6/10 · 19 May 2020]

This campy vampire flick is a train wreck, but is very self-aware of its own ridiculousness. There's plenty of blood, cheesey one-liners, and gratuitous nudity to land this film firmly among other (terrible) slashers from previous decades. Award-winning it is not, but it definitely made me laugh.

All in all a good film

[dreamneophyte-227-165081 · 7/10 · 20 January 2012]

I found this film to be amusing. The one-liners are better then the jokes made in most "comedies". The vampires look like actual vampires unlike the sparkling fairies of "twlight" and they do some damage. It uses some of the lesser known aspects of vampires that are found in the mythology. For example the in classic vampire mythology vampires are capable of manipulating what and how a person thinks they are also able to read people's minds. The only criticisms I have for it is that the special affects are kinda cheap but the vampires do look really good though. The other criticism would be the storyline doesn't really go anywhere, but considering it is a cross between a comedy and a horror the story line doesn't really need to go anywhere. I would say by the end it made me laugh and kinda freaked me out.