- [first lines]
- Melanie Moretti: You guys, the strangest thing just happened to me; I had a conversation... with a neighbor.
- Joy Scroggs: Wow! I never even saw my neighbors in L.A. Except during earthquakes.
- Victoria Chase: Yeah, sometimes we'd pull into our driveways at the same time and, as our electronic gates were opening, I'd think: "I don't even know their names, and they don't know mine." And the world was good.
- Melanie Moretti: Well, *that* was the L.A. us; here in Cleveland we're going to get to know our neighbors. In fact, I'm throwing a party. Tomorrow. Look at me being all spontaneous.
- Victoria Chase: A Japanese company wants me to do a commercial. Ah, years of honing my craft, and finally my dream is coming true.
- Melanie Moretti: Your dream is to do a Japanese commercial?
- Victoria Chase: No. To sell out for an obscene amount of money.
- Melanie Moretti: I don't want him not to like me. I like being likeable. Not to brag, but it's kinda my thing.
- Victoria Chase: Mm-hm.
- Joy Scroggs: You should be able to tolerate *someone* not liking you.
- Melanie Moretti: You're right. I mean, a ton of people don't like you and you're fine with it.
- [Victoria laughs]
- Melanie Moretti: I'm, I'm going to staple my mouth shut.
- Victoria Chase: [about Joy] Now, you may not realize this, Elka, but we are in the presence of a genius. Ill-tempered, disagreeable, snarky, yes. But, I would trust her with my life and, more importantly, with my hair.
- [last lines]
- Victoria Chase: [about her commercial] OK, OK, it wasn't my classiest endeavor. But just remember, it's only airing in Japan. Oh, thank God!
- [Victoria's phone rings: "Oh my God, is that Victoria Chase?"]
- Victoria Chase: It's probably my agent, calling to blow smoke up my - well, you know.
- [Victoria leaves]
- Joy Scroggs: When do we tell her it's all over the internet?
- Melanie Moretti: Oh, I know; I saw it too.
- Elka Ostrovsky: I posted it.