Hot in Cleveland (TV Series)

The Sex That Got Away (2010)

Wendie Malick: Victoria Chase

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Victoria Chase : Ice. I need ice.

  Joy Scroggs : I realize it's happy hour somewhere, but isn't it a bit early even for you?

  Victoria Chase : It happens to be an emergency.

  [holding ice tray against the side of her neck] 

  Victoria Chase : I pulled a muscle fastening my bra.

  Elka Ostrovsky : What's going on?

  Joy Scroggs : Victoria's having a senior moment.

  Elka Ostrovsky : Oh, I have those all the time. I can be walking along, happy as a clam, and suddenly I get this overwhelming urge to hit some young person with a stick.

• Victoria Chase : Oh, Lord, Hailey Nash! All those dreadful female empowerment songs.

  Joy Scroggs : Her music takes me back to a time when music sucked.

• Melanie Moretti : You *know* Johnny Revere!

  Victoria Chase : Every inch of him. One night he pulled me from the audience to dance on stage and gave me a back-stage pass to the best six months of my life.

  Joy Scroggs : Then why is he a bastard?

  Victoria Chase : Because, half-way through the tour, he left me stranded on a corner in Winslow, Arizona.

  Melanie Moretti : Wait, isn't that an Eagles song?

  Victoria Chase : Never tell Don Henley anything in confidence when you're doing shots.

• Johnny Revere : Seriously, you look even sexier in person than you did on your show.

  Victoria Chase : You watched Edge of Tomorrow?

  Johnny Revere : Sure. I was always bragging to the roadies how I used to drill you like the Gulf of Mexico.

  Victoria Chase : Still don't follow the news, do you!

• Victoria Chase : I am definitely going to need an emergency wax.

  Elka Ostrovsky : But your eyebrows look fine.

  Victoria Chase : Oh, it's not my eyebrows I'm worried about.

  Joy Scroggs : Do you think I carry a portable waxing kit?

  Victoria Chase : Joy, please!

  Joy Scroggs : OK, fine!

  [picks up a candle and serviette from the table] 

  Joy Scroggs : I'll MacGyver it.

• [last lines] 

  Joy Scroggs : Oh, don't feel so bad, Melanie. I didn't know about Elton John *or* George Michael. I thought he wanted *my* sex.

  Melanie Moretti : I didn't even know the Village People were gay.

  Victoria Chase : Yeah, they kind of ruined that cowboys with short shorts and a moustache look for straight guys.

  Elka Ostrovsky : In my day nobody knew anything about anyone. Rock Hudson. Tab Hunter. I had a big thing for Liberace.

  Melanie Moretti : You thought Liberace was straight.

  Elka Ostrovsky : I could have turned him.