- While Jack and Dan sit in a bar while they are supposed to be doing a stakeout at an electronics store, Dan runs into a mobster from an undercover sting he was working on seven years earlier.
- In order to bust mobsters that slipped through his fingers years ago, Dan goes undercover into the world of organized crime. However, as he plans a sting operation that will finally put the thugs behind bars, Dan unwittingly inspires two entirely new outfits of far more dangerous criminals.—Fox Publicity
- Northeast Dallas, 3:27 p.m., Code 41 in Progress A guy in bikini briefs with a bad Italian accent punches Jack (Colin Hanks) in the face, schooling him on how he hates cops. Pan back and we see it's Dan (Bradley Whitford) in all of his mustached, bikini-wearing glory.
Two Days Earlier Dan drives and worries he and Jack aren't yet a great team, like "Nixon and Agnew." They arrive at an electronics store, where a giant fiberglass elephant has been thrown through the front window for the third time that week. The manager says he has a big shipment of smart phones coming in later in the week and he needs the store to be secure. He says alarms don't work.
Cut to an alarm not doing much to discourage the robbers currently ransacking Garrick's drug store. They get to the car and take off their masks - a blond couple. The woman yells at the man for stealing worthless drugs. He promises to do better next time.
Jack makes his pitch to Lt. Rivera (Diana Maria Riva) to get the drug store robbery case. She says no.
At work, Liz (Jenny Wade) talks to Jack. She says just got yelled at for helping him too much. He assures her he can go 48 hours without help. They're going on stakeout.
Cut to Jack and Dan in the Trans-Am in broad daylight, watching the elephant mascot spin outside the electronics store. "Stakeouts are over-rated," Dan whines. He shows Jack his giant videocassette recorder and suggests they leave it in the bushes and go get a beer.
Two beers in, Jack explains he tried to grow a mustache once but it didn't grow in on the sides and he looked like Hitler. Several more rounds pass and Dan suggests they come up with code words, like he and Frank used to have. "Theresa" was the code word for "let's get out of here."
Dan stops Jack from going on about Liz when suddenly a big goomba interrupts them, "recognizing" Dan as Silvio. He's Bobby Kneecaps and he thinks it's wrong Silvio didn't get his cut of the racetrack heist. Dan immediately slips into a Christopher Walken-as-an-Italian accent and makes plans to meet up tomorrow.
Outside, Dan explains. Seven years ago he went deep undercover to bust these mob guys, but "complications" led to them getting away with $400,000.
7 Years Earlier, Gulf Shores Dog Track Dan has an awesome polyester shirt on and briefs the guys on the huge job they're going to pull nine hours from then. Cut to 12 Hours from then - Dan waking up late in his trailer.
"You slept through your own sting?" Jack asks. Worse, the $400,000 was department money and him losing it was how he got busted down to property crimes because he planned a heist so good there was no evidence to prosecute.
They both realize they could still take the guys down.
Outside Raven's Pharmacy, the hapless robbers prepare to go in. The guy assures the girl there's no security and the guy who works there is super old. They bust in but immediately get distracted arguing with each other over technique. The old guy behind the counter whips out a shotgun and blasts them out of there, then wings their blue van as they drive away.
At the mob meeting spot, an Italian restaurant, naturally, one of the guys thinks it's weird that Silvio vanished and is now suddenly back. Bobby says, "If you can't trust Silvio, who can you trust?"
"Silvio" comes in and tells them he missed the job because some guys found out about it and beat him into a four-year coma. He asks in on whatever they've got planned. They're unloading something that afternoon.
At the department, Dan/Silvio wants Lt. Rivera for permission to follow up his undercover sting. She agrees and he plants a wet one on her.
Around the corner from the meeting spot, Jack and a whole team of cops including Rivera wait for the deal to go down.
They tell Dan (Silvio, now doing Brando) they're unloading seafood. Rivera makes Jack wait because Bobby might recognize him as a cop. Dan accidentally gives the signal and the troops charge in.
Bobby protests it's just seafood, but Rivera orders her men to dump it all out. They find shrimp. And more shrimp. And that's it.
Back at the station, Rivera yells at Jack and Dan for wasting city time and money while she has "drugstore cowboys" running around. Dan's still in character, sipping espresso.
Later, on a stationary Merry-go-round (why not?) Dan wants to try to get them again.
Cut to Silvio suggesting to the guys they steal a load of smart phones from the electronics store. One of the guys suggests it's a coincidence the cops showed up seven years later. But Dan rallies them.
At a restaurant in one booth, the "drugstore cowboy" couple think there must be an easier way to get rich. At the next booth, Bobby and the guys discuss the easy score. Bobby points out if Silvio were a cop he wouldn't have planned the whole robbery and let them get away with $400,000. They agree to meet at Mamma Mia's and go to the heist from there. The couple overhears and thinks they can get in on it.
Jack calls Liz and she agrees to do him one last favor, but tells him if he calls again, she's hanging up on him. Jack tells Dan he's got things set up with a truck with empty boxes parked outside the electronics store. All they have to do is prove the guys think they're stealing smart phones. Jack wants Silvio to wear a wire. Jack fits him up with a chest wire.
Silvio strolls into the back of Mamma Mia's and is greeted with an "officer." 10 Minutes Earlier
The guys walk up and see Jack in the parking lot. They say hi, but the only cover Jack can come up with is his name is Paulie "the Duck."
Back inside, they pull Jack out of the walk-in freezer, tied down to a chair. They ask Dan where the wire is. He claims Jack's not a cop, but they show him all his gear and Dan responds by trying to charge Jack. They stop him and insist Dan strip.
He goes pants first, then boots. Then finally his shirt - revealing no wire, but some pretty spiffy neon green bikini briefs.
15 Minutes Earlier Dan walks out of the bathroom, complaining his "areolas are chaffing like crazy." He rips the wire off his chest and throws it in the trash.
Back in the restaurant, "Silvio" is in the clear, so he shows his cop friend what he thinks of him and starts wailing on him. Dan punches Jack a few more times. Bobby pulls him off, saying Jack was just doing him job. Dan doesn't lose a step and urges them on to steal the smart phones.
On the road, the clueless bandit couple prepare to find the mobsters, force them to tell them where the smart phones are and steal their heist.
In the restaurant, Dan's trying to figure out what to do next when Jack suggests "Theresa." (Dan covers by saying some people say their mom's names when they're scared.) He says he's going to whack the cop and pushes him into the walk-in freezer, cutting Bobby off when he says there's something Dan/Silvio needs to know.
Dan loosens Jack's bindings then goes back to join the goombas, leaving Jack in the freezer. Bobby delicately tells Silvio they're not up for it. One guy's a dentist, the other's a photographer (specializing in weddings and bar mitzvahs). From their big score they were able to make something of themselves. Bobby says one month before Dan brought them the plan, his daughter got sick and because of him they were able to afford the operation which saved her life.
Bobby tells him they'd never committed a crime until he talked them into robbing the dog track. They were going along with the phones because they felt they owed him. Dan's about to tell them they have nothing to worry about when the robbing couple comes in guns blazing. The woman shoots Bobby in the arm for good measure. Dan says they'll show them where the phones are as he shouts out descriptions of them for Jack, who's still trying to free himself in the freezer.
Jack scoots to the door and opens the door with his mouth. He turns his phone on with his tongue and dials. Liz answers and he says "I need you to help me!" She cuts him off saying she's wondering why she's helping. She hangs up. He jumps around protesting, tips over, breaks the chair and is free.
Dan pulls up to the electronics store and points out the van. The girl suggests they move the merchandise to their van. She has the goombas unload it. Bobby whispers to Dan he thinks the boxes are empty. He tells him to go with it.
Jack arrives and yells at them to drop their guns.
In the front of the store, with the rotating fiberglass elephant, two slacker teens complain about getting fired and start molesting the elephant.
Jack asks Dan if there are any other guns. Bobby asks Silvio what's going on. Dan explains who he is, but says he was going to let them go when he realized they weren't criminals.
The girl robber likes their chances against Jack's one gun. Dan announces he hasn't been this scared since Jimmy Carter was president.
Two Days Earlier Back in the bar, discussing code words, "Carter" meant take out the guy on the left. Jack's not a fan of the plan. In front, the teenagers put the elephant through the window, setting off alarms, which distracts the couple long enough for Jack and Dan to subdue them.
Dan lets the goombas go.
Back at the department, they show Rivera footage of the teens putting the elephant through the window. She's curious how the drugstore cowboys happened to be at the electronics store, far from any pharmacy. "We're just that good," Dan says.
Liz stops by Jack's to apologize for hanging up on him. As she walks away, she takes his call.
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