South Park (TV Series)

201 (2010)

Trey Parker: Stan Marsh, Eric Cartman, Soldier #1, Soldier #2, Doctor, Mr. Garrison, Randy Marsh, Sgt. Yates, Santa, Ginger Kid #2, Mr. Hankey, Narrator, Joseph Smith, Policeman, Lao Tzu, Sea Man, Dr. Mephesto, Tom Cruise, Mr. Mouse, Richard Tweak, Moses, The Pope, Scott Tenorman, Krishna in the form of Neil Diamond, Russell Crowe, Rob Reiner

Quotes 

• Kyle Broflovski : You see, I learned something today. Throughout this whole ordeal, we've all wanted to show things that we weren't allowed to show, but it wasn't because of some magic goo. It was because of the magical power of threatening people with violence. That's obviously the only true power. If there's anything we've all learned, it's that terrorizing people works.

  Jesus Christ : That's right. Don't you see, gingers? If you don't want to be made fun of anymore, all you need are guns and bombs to get people to stop.

  Santa Claus : That's right, friends. All you need to do is instill fear and be willing to hurt people and you can get whatever you want. The only true power is violence.

  Stan Marsh : Yeah.

• Kyle : You see, I learned something today. Throughout this whole ordeal, we've all wanted to show things that we weren't allowed to show. But, it wasn't because of some magic goo - it was because of the magical power of threatening people with violence. That's obviously the only true power. If there's anything we've all learned, it's that terrorising people works.

  Jesus : That's right - don't you see, Gingers? If you don't want to be made fun of anymore all you need are guns and bombs to get people to stop.

  Santa : That's right, friends. All you need to do is instill fear and be willing to hurt people and you can get whatever you want. The only true power is violence.

  Stan : Yeah.

• [last lines] 

  Stan Marsh : Look, Mr. Cruise... I'm sorry I said you were a fudge packer and that you had Seaman on your back.

  Tom Cruise : I just can't do it anymore. I wanna go away. But there's nowhere on earth that people aren't around to rip on me.

  Kyle Broflovski : Hey... Hey, we know a place! We know a place where everything is just happiness and joy. And no humans are there to mess it up.

  Stan Marsh : We do? Oh... Oh yeah, we do!

  Tom Cruise : You... really? Somewhere where I can just live out my days in peace and quiet and - Oh... Oh please, can you show me where?

  Stan Marsh : We'll do better than that. We'll help you get there.

  [Tom Cruise is then shown laying dead next to Willzyx on the moon] 

• [first lines] 

  Eric Cartman (as Mitch Connor) : [voiceover]  Saigon. It's a hell of a place. I've seen a lot of death. A lot of suffering. Darkness that most people couldn't stand to see. I tried to sit it out as much as I could.

  Soldier 1 : What's the matter, Connor? Don't like a little blood?

  Eric Cartman (as Mitch Connor) : [voiceover]  No, I don't like a little blood. Blood ain't the stuff for eighteen-year-old boys from Sheboygan. Blood ain't the stuff for Mitch Connor.

  Soldier 2 : Incoming!

• Scott Tenorman : Revenge is a dish best served... chili.

• Sea Man : I'll get you, Tom Cruise!

  [jumps on Tom Cruise and starts punching him] 

  Stan Marsh : Hey look! Tom Cruise has Seaman on his back.

  [Tom Cruise's image is no longer censored] 

  Tom Cruise : What did you say?

  Kyle Broflovski : Oh yeah, Tom Cruise does have Seaman on his back.

  Jesus Christ : I guess maybe Tom Cruise likes Seaman.

  Tom Cruise : Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! You're not supposed to be able to make fun of me any more! What the hell's going on?

• Joseph Smith : We can't attack Streisand's nose, it's just too big!