"The Simpsons" Moe Letter Blues (TV Episode 2010) - Dan Castellaneta as Homer Simpson, Krusty, Mr. Teeny

Krusty : Kids, this Mother's Day, why don't you give your mother what she really wants?: a break from you!
Bart Simpson : Dad, what did mom mean when she said she had to take care of something?

Homer Simpson : Son, I'm something of an expert on women, and if I've learned something is that they never mean anything about anything.

Lisa Simpson : Dad, that's a very dangerous attitude to have about your wife.

Homer Simpson : Honey, I hear what you're saying.

Homer Simpson : [whispering to Bart] Nothing.
Homer Simpson : So, you were saying something?

Marge Simpson : Why do I waste my breath?

Homer Simpson : Sorry, honey. I wasn't listening, and I won't be listening now.
Homer Simpson : Moe, my in-laws are coming, and I need something strong enough to make me forget I hate them but not so strong that I tell them I love them.
Homer Simpson : The ferry will be here in ten minutes to take us home, then we'll know the truth.

Apu : The truth!

Ralph Wiggum : The roof!
Homer Simpson : Well, when your wife came to Moe's, I was there being my usual, effervescent self.

[Cut to Homer passed out on the bar]
Apu : So it is you, Mr. Homer. I must admit, I was expecting it. A woman her age married to someone... How old are you? Sixty-five?

Homer Simpson : Thirty-nine.

Apu : Dear God! This day gets more and more disturbing.
Marge Simpson : I'm still mad at you for last night.

Homer Simpson : Today's the first, so that was last month, which means you're being ridiculous.

Dan Castellaneta: Homer Simpson, Krusty, Mr. Teeny