- Priya Koothrappali: I could never bring a white boy home to my parents. They'd have a cow - which is a much bigger deal in India.
- Howard Wolowitz: [learning Leonard slept with Raj's sister Priya] I would never do that. Unlike him, I respect you.
- Leonard Hofstadter: [skeptically] Really. Was it out of respect that you didn't tell Raj about the time you dropped his iPhone in a urinal?
- Raj Koothrappali: [in outrage/disgust] Dude, I put that thing on my face!
- Leonard Hofstadter: I'm sorry, Raj, but the truth is I was with Priya last night.
- Sheldon Cooper: Don't listen to him. He's still light-headed from all the Irish whiskey and pickled eggs in his system.
- Raj Koothrappali: What were you doing with Priya?
- Sheldon Cooper: [throwing it out there like it's no big deal] I believe they engaged in coitus.
- Howard Wolowitz: This is the worst cobbler I've ever eaten. It tastes like it's made of actual ground-up shoe maker.
- Raj Koothrappali: My sister is much hotter than your girlfriend, and you know it.
- Howard Wolowitz: Let's just agree they're both hot.
- Raj Koothrappali: What - ? Dude, that's my sister you're talking about!
- [last lines]
- Leonard Hofstadter: Can I have a snow cone?
- Sheldon Cooper: Sure.
- Leonard Hofstadter: This is pretty good. What flavor is this?
- Sheldon Cooper: Guess.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Papaya?
- Sheldon Cooper: No.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Guava?
- Sheldon Cooper: You're so close.
- Leonard Hofstadter: I give up.
- Sheldon Cooper: Mango caterpillar.
- [Leonard does a spit take and throws the snow cone in the garbage]
- Sheldon Cooper: What are you doing!
- [Leonard storms out]
- Sheldon Cooper: You said you liked it.
- Leonard Hofstadter: I admit it, I... I may have crossed a line here, but come on, Raj, your sister is a grown woman. And to her, I'm a forbidden piece of white chocolate.
- Raj Koothrappali: [standing up to leave] I don't believe it. This is a terrible betrayal of my trust.
- Leonard Hofstadter: No, no, no. Would it... would it help if I told you that I offered her my heart and she kind of stomped on it?
- Raj Koothrappali: How hard did she stomp?
- Leonard Hofstadter: Very hard.
- Raj Koothrappali: [sitting down] Okay, I'm good.
- Priya Koothrappali: Leonard, wake up.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Huh? What? Uh, sorry.
- Priya Koothrappali: For what?
- Leonard Hofstadter: I don't know. When I'm in bed with a girl, it's my go-to response.
- Sheldon Cooper: [Describing the fake alibi he has invented for Leonard] You met her at Pasadena's most popular Irish watering hole, Lucky Baldwin's, where Maggie spends her nights tending bar, with a head full of curls and heart full of dreams.
- [Hands Leonard a bar napkin]
- Leonard Hofstadter: [Reading handwriting on napkin] "Leonard, call me if you're interested in *coitus.* Sincerely, Maggie Mcgarry."
- Sheldon Cooper: And if anyone were to actually call that number, they will hear this.
- [plays recording]
- Female text-to-speech electronic voice: Top of the morning to you. You've reached Maggie McGarry. Leave a message at the wee little beep.
- Raj Koothrappali: You slept with my sister?
- Leonard Hofstadter: Yeah.
- Howard Wolowitz: How could you? We had a pact!
- Raj Koothrappali: Excuse me, I think "How could you? She's my sister" takes precedence over a five year old pinkie swear.
- Sheldon Cooper: The fun starts with brunch at Carney's in Studio City, a hot dog stand in a converted railroad dining car. Next stop, Travel Town, an outdoor museum featuring 43 railroad engines, cars and other rolling stock from the 1880s to the 1930s. Finally, we're off to the glitz and glamour of Hollywood for dinner at, that's right, the Hollywood Carney's, a hot dog stand in a different converted railroad dining car.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Okay fine, I'm, I'm a horrible human being. I'm the Darth Vader of Pasadena.
- Sheldon Cooper: You're far too short to be Darth Vader. At best, you might be a turncoat Ewok.
- Howard Wolowitz: As long as we're talking about betraying our friends, how about the month Sheldon spent grinding up insects and mixing them into Leonard's food.
- Sheldon Cooper: Well excuse me, that was not a betrayal. That was an experiment to determine at what concentration food start tasting "mothy".
- Leonard Hofstadter: You put moths in my food?
- Sheldon Cooper: For science.
- Raj Koothrappali: I can't believe you kissed my sister with moth mouth.