- [first lines]
- Joy Scroggs: We're still in a rented house in Ohio, right?
- Victoria Chase: Yup.
- Joy Scroggs: So last night a guy fifteen years younger than me really did give me his phone number.
- Victoria Chase: Oh, it's the magic of Cleveland, Joy. All the most beautiful people in the world move to L.A. to become stars, leaving behind in their wake beauty voids for the rest of us to fill.
- Melanie Moretti: [very perky] Morning. How'd everyone sleep? Me, rock. And what a beautiful Ohio morning; birds are chirping, people are smiling, someone actually said "Hi-ya" to me! With the 'ya'!
- Elka Ostrovsky: Who put a quarter in that one?
- Joy Scroggs: Maybe I should just call him and tell him the truth.
- Victoria Chase: Are you out of your mind! What if he isn't your son?
- Melanie Moretti: "I might be your mother." Probably a romance killer.
- Victoria Chase: Mm-hm. And what's even more horrific is you'd have to admit that you're old enough to be his mother. Now, how old does he think you are?
- Joy Scroggs: He said I looked thirty-eight.
- Elka Ostrovsky: Your son is mentally challenged?
- [last lines]
- Melanie Moretti: Are you really thinking of finding your son?
- Joy Scroggs: Maybe. It's all just a... a lot.
- Melanie Moretti: I can't imagine.
- Joy Scroggs: Yes, you can. You're a mother.
- Victoria Chase: Hey. So are you.
- Joy Scroggs: Thanks. Ah, it's just so weird to think of him out there, a grown man. He could be married, have kids of his own. I might even have... grandkids.
- Elka Ostrovsky: Hey, maybe one of 'em's old enough for you to date.
- [the others just look at her]
- Elka Ostrovsky: Too soon?
- Elka Ostrovsky: [to Joy] You're too old and creaky to be robbing the cradle.
- Joy Scroggs: *I'm* old! Was Ohio even a state when you were born?
- Elka Ostrovsky: They were talking about it.