- Turanga Leela: LaBarbara, Hermes, happy Kwanzaa. We brought a chocolate cake, but now I'm worried that might be offensive in some way.
- Professor Farnsworth: It's a wild albino humping worm.
- Philip J. Fry: Why do they call it that?
- Professor Farnsworth: Because it doesn't have any pigmentation.
- Hermes Conrad: Kwanzaa traditions are quite ancient, dating back over one thousand years.
- Philip J. Fry: Whoa!
- Zoidberg: If only someone could tell us more about these traditions.
- Kwanzaa-bot: [breaks through the wall] Oh, yeah!
- Dwight Conrad: Hey, Kool-Aid's here!
- LaBarbara Conrad: No, child, that's not a made-up character. It's Kwanzaa-bot.
- Kwanzaa-bot: And I'mma tell y'all how we celebrate Kwanzaa. Zoidberg, lay down a beat!
- Zoidberg: How 'bout I just lay down?
- Kwanzaa-bot: [rapping] The seven basic principles that go to make up Kwanzaa! So sit yo' asses down and have some knowledge dropped upons ya!
- LaBarbara Conrad: Kujichagulia...
- Barbados Slim, Bubblegum Tate: And umoja...
- Hermes Conrad: And the rest.
- Planet Express Crew: Now we get it!
- Kwanzaa-bot: Sit back down! There's gonna be a test. My favorite's ujamaa.
- Bubblegum Tate: Cooperative economics.
- Kwanzaa-bot: [to Dwight] Yo, boondocks, I'm talkin' here! Put away the comics! Ku'umba is another one, it stands for creativity.
- Barbados Slim: [to Zoidberg] Like the ever-changing nature of my sexual proclivities.
- Kwanzaa-bot: I think there's one called "nia," but I don't speak Swahili, Sumthin' 'bout a pine tree and a oil-wrestlin' dealy?
- Professor Farnsworth: That's from Xmas and Robanukah, you plagiarizing lout!
- Kwanzaa-bot: Yeah, I'm kinda losin' interest here. I'd best be rollin' out. But before I go, the most important thing...
- Dwight Conrad: What's that, Black Santa?
- Kwanzaa-bot: You need seven Kwanzaa candles that you light up every night. But they best be made of beeswax or y'all might as well be white.