- Axl Heck: This is unfair. You're parents. It's your job to put your kids first.
- Mike Heck: Who says?
- Axl Heck: I'll tell you who says. "The Giving Tree". You're the ones who read us the book. The tree gave up all its leaves and - and its apples and its branches, and it let the little boy cut it down so it could be a canoe. And it didn't complain and go nuts and kick anyone off the TV. It wanted to be a stump. It was happy!
- Brick Heck: I looked up "Moby Dick", the hard edition.
- Mike Heck: Uh, you didn't.
- Brick Heck: And you can't believe what came up.
- Mike Heck: Oh, I'm afraid we can.
- Brick Heck: All these first editions and stuff.
- Frankie Heck: Oh, see?
- Mike Heck: Oh, good for you, Brick.
- Frankie Heck: That's what the Internet is for - books.
- Brick Heck: Oh, and then I met some guy online who wants to meet me at the park.
- [leaves]
- Frankie Heck: Maybe we should have taken him to the library.