Tom Kenny credited as playing...
Plastic Man
- Plastic Man: Do you swear allegiance to the side of goodness and right?
- Woozy Winks: I do.
- Plastic Man: Will you strike terror into cowardly and superstitious criminals everywhere?
- Woozy Winks: I will.
- Plastic Man: Will you pit your prodigious strength and keen intellect against the forces of darkness as my crime-fighting apprentice?
- Woozy Winks: Sure, Plas. Whatever you say.
- Plastic Man: In that case, Woozy Winks, by the power I've invested in me, I make you my duly-deputized sidekick.
- Woozy Winks: Hot dog!
- Plastic Man: And now, to the Plas Cave.
- [opening a bust of Batman, he takes out a set of keys and opens a door]
- Woozy Winks: Wow, boss. You disguised it all up so's it looks like your garage.
- Batman: Woozy.
- Woozy Winks: No, Bats, I'm fine. Thanks to you.
- Batman: No, I meant you're Woozy.
- Woozy Winks: No, really, never been better.
- Batman: [thinking, derisively] Sidekicks.
- Plastic Man: That dumb oaf almost hurt my family, and now he's gonna pay.
- Batman: Now is not the best time to let your emotions get the best of you, Plas.
- Plastic Man: Come on, Bats. Maybe we're not...
- Kite Man: [with Ramona, the baby, and the dog tied to his kite] Too late! Soon, I'll have the retribution you owe me, Plastic Man. Consider this just a down payment!
- Plastic Man: What have I done?
- Batman: Kite Man is trying to draw you out. Until we know what he's up to, it's best for you to stay here with your family.
- Plastic Man: [with his fingers crossed behind his back] Oh, okay, Bats.
- Plastic Man: If you don't mind, Batman, this big maroon is all mine.
- [molding into a brick wall]
- Plastic Man: The only way out of here is through me. Ha, ha. Check and mate.
- [getting thrown through the ceiling out onto the street]
- Plastic Man: [dodging various items thrown at him] Hey, that's city property.
- Plastic Man: You know the plan, right, Woozy?
- Woozy Winks: Of course. If Ramona asks where we took baby, don't mention Rubberneck, and change the subject.
- Ramona: [opening the front door] Oh, baby. Where were you? I was so worried.
- Plastic Man: Nothing to worry about, sugar. Just a stimulating evening at the boring old museum.
- Woozy Winks: [getting nudged in the shoulder] Uh, I wonder what's on the old telly tonight.
- [turning the TV on, they see a news report about the museum heist]
- Woozy Winks: Uh-oh.
- [switching channels, there's another news report]
- Woozy Winks: Oh, boy.
- [switching channels again, then turning the TV off]
- Woozy Winks: Uh... I got nothing.
- Plastic Man: Yes! I am back, baby! Whoo!
- [dodging a laser blast]
- Plastic Man: Woozy, turn that thing off.
- Woozy Winks: I'm trying, I'm trying.
- [a ray hits Kite Man, who then adopts the properties of Plastic Man's powers]
- Kite Man: Oh, you cannot be serious.
- Plastic Man: My fault. This is my fault. I have no self-control. Oh, why didn't I do the thing when I...
- Batman: Get a hold of yourself, O'Brien. Pull it together and let's go.
- Plastic Man: You really think I can help? After everything?
- Batman: I never waste my time on screwups, O'Brien.
- Kite Man: Those years in jail kept me from achieving my own greatness. But when people hear how I used a kite for my fiendish revenge, I'll be the most famous kite-related person in history.
- [tying up Batman]
- Kite Man: Now that I've taken care of any unwanted interference, Eel, step out here where I can shoot you more easily.
- Batman: O'Brien, you don't have to...
- Plastic Man: But I do, Bats. Thanks to me, my family's in danger. I have to make this right. All right, Kite Man, you win.
- Kite Man: Of course, I do. My ray will turn you into a petrified statue for my mantle. That is, if I don't smash you to bits.
- Batman: [after he fires the ray] Okay, Kite Man, now release the hostages.
- Kite Man: As you wish.
- [snapping at Rubberneck, the kite to which Ramona, the baby, and the dog are lashed begins to fly away with the wind]
- Plastic Man: Great gadzooks. Rubberneck. What's that over-sized latex leviathan doing nosing around the museum? You watch baby and Schnitzel while I go catch this criminal red-handed.
- Woozy Winks: [hiding, then peeking his head out] Can't see nothing. Can you, baby? Baby?
- [realizing the baby's not in his carrier and the dog is off his leash]
- Woozy Winks: Aw, nuts.
- Plastic Man: This is what passes as art nowadays? It's pretentious, uninspired...
- Woozy Winks: And worth about a million bucks.
- Plastic Man: [getting a greedy look in his eyes] A million bucks?
- Woozy Winks: Now you're getting that look in your eyes, Plas. Remember, self-control.
- Woozy Winks: [as Plastic Man's dog does his business] Ugh, I wish we had that plastic bag now.
- Plastic Man: Take note, Woozy. The great crime-fighters multitask. We'll expose baby to this classy long-hair stuff and go on crime patrol at the same time.
- Batman: Sorry to interrupt.
- Plastic Man: Batman, come in, come in. Honey, it's Batman. Gotta talk with Batman. He's on a schedule, it's Batman, very busy.
- Batman: [scanning him] Just as I suspected. You're missing 2.2 grams of yourself.
- Woozy Winks: Mm-hmm. I thought you looked thinner.
- Plastic Man: [gasping, with an exaggerated facial expression] Wait, what does that even mean?
- Batman: The robbery at the museum was just a ruse. Rubberneck followed you in there. It was all a set-up to get to you.
- Woozy Winks: But why, Plas? Can you think of anyone who has an ax to grind with you?
- Plastic Man: Hmm...
- [thinking through various events where he disrupted others]
- Plastic Man: No, I can't think of a soul.
- Plastic Man: Where are we?
- Batman: The Franklin Museum. Founded by the most famous kite flyer of them all: Benjamin Franklin.
- Kite Man: Very good, Batman.
- Plastic Man: Where's my family, Kite Man?
- Woozy Winks: Plas! Look!
- Plastic Man: [seeing them tied up to a kite outside] You are one sick individual.
- Kite Man: Perhaps, but it wasn't always that way. As a boy, I was obsessed with Ben Franklin. I even re-created the famous electricity experiment. But I was brash. I cut corners, ignored safety precautions.
- Batman: The resulting lightning strike caused a psychological trauma that forced you into a life of kite-centric crime.
- Kite Man: Ben Franklin was a fraud. What did this so-called great man ever give us?
- Woozy Winks: Bifocals.
- Plastic Man: The Franklin stove.
- Rubberneck: Daylight savings time.
- Kite Man: Never mind! The only thing that matters is that tonight, I will have my vengeance.
- Plastic Man: Aha! Rubberneck, I've caught you red-handed.
- [grabbing him, Rubberneck rolls him into a ball, bounces him a few times, then throws him through the ceiling]
- Batman: You double-dribbled, Rubberneck. That's a penalty. Ten to twenty years in Blackgate Prison.
- Batman: [Plastic Man has molded himself into the Batmobile] I told you to stay behind.
- Plastic Man: But we wanted to help.
- Batman: We?
- Woozy Winks: [munching on a burger in the passenger seat] Hi.
- Batman: It seems like our friend Rubberneck is at it again. Get us to the east side. Pronto.
- Plastic Man: Gotcha.
- Plastic Man: I learned from Batman himself the importance of guile. Not to mention gear. The Plastic-rang, the Plastic-shield, plastic bags.
- Woozy Winks: Wow, Plas. You're just like Batman.
- Plastic Man: Aw, I'm trying, Woozy. Bats is the epitome of self-discipline and control. I'm hoping that following his example might help with my own problems in those areas.
- Woozy Winks: You? Self-control problems? Ha! Get outta here.
- Plastic Man: Let's go over the secret danger-alert whistle, shall we?
- [molding his fingers into a musical instrument, he plays a trumpet fanfare; trying himself, Woozy just manages to blow raspberries]
- Plastic Man: Close enough. Now, let's us two do-gooders do some good.
- Ramona: [opening the garage door] If you boys are all done playing Batman and Robin, it's time to take baby and Schnitzel to the museum.
- Plastic Man: [groaning in disappointment] Oh, Ramona.
- Ramona: Don't you "Oh, Ramona" me, Edward O'Brien. You promised. Baby needs to be exposed to culture and class.
- Plastic Man: Yeah, but we have crime patrol.
- Ramona: [dejected, he takes the dog leash and stroller] And you be careful. Babies don't grow on trees, you know.