Batman: The Brave and the Bold (TV Series)

Death Race to Oblivion! (2009)

Diedrich Bader: Batman

Quotes 

• Mark Desmond : The Star of Bialya. Now, that will buy a lot of chemistry sets.

  Batman : Sorry, Desmond. I'm giving you detention.

  Mark Desmond : [childishly]  Where's my mommy? The scary man is hurting me.

  [murmuring from the crowd] 

  Batman : [putting him down]  You may have fooled these citizens, Desmond, but I've had my eye on you since you pilfered those chemicals from S.T.A.R. Labs.

  Mark Desmond : Those chemicals will give me the brawn to match my brain. And what better time than now to finally test them out?

  Batman : No, Desmond! You don't know the side effects.

  [drinking from a vial, he grows in size] 

  Blockbuster : Now Blockbuster is strongest.

  [getting hit with a batarang] 

  Blockbuster : And Blockbuster no like Bathead.

  [punching Batman, he knocks over a display case] 

  Blockbuster : Ooh, pretty sparkly rock.

• Green Arrow : What's gotten into you, Bats? You nearly hit Guy. I know he's a jerk, but...

  Batman : You still don't get it, Arrow.

  [nudging Arrow's car with the Batmobile] 

  Green Arrow : [seeing he's about to crash]  No!

  Batman : When it comes to protecting Gotham, I have no friends.

• Green Arrow : [Catwoman's car is knocked off course]  Batman, we can't just let her...

  Batman : No one's stopping you from saving her.

• Batman : [taking down Blockbuster]  NIce work, Captain Marvel.

  Captain Marvel : You, too, Batman. I've always wanted to work wi...

  [seeing the museum displays] 

  Captain Marvel : Holy moly, the triceratops! Sorry, Batman, I-I don't wanna miss the dinosaurs.

• Mongul : Now that the course is complete, and the racers have arrived, let the games begin. So says Mongul!

  Guy Gardner : Oh, you wanna play games?

  [conjuring a mallet, he moves to strike] 

  Batman : Stand down, Guy.

  Mongul : I can order Warmoon to obliterate the Earth with a thought.

  [grumbling, Guy stands down] 

  Mongul : Then welcome to Death Race. One hundred treacherous miles across this desert. The rules are simple. Rule one: If my champion Steppenwolf wins, then Warmoon will destroy the entire planet. Otherwise, the winner becomes ruler of Earth, to play with it as he, or she, sees fit.

  Joker : [laughing gleefully]  Imagine what fun that would be.

  Mongul : Rule two: anyone knocked out of the race will be teleported directly to Warmoon, where they can catch the end of the competition from a holding cell and await execution. Rule three: there are no other rules.

  Green Arrow : What if we don't wanna play?

  Mongul : Ah, that is your prerogative. But I will instantly destroy the home city of anyone who refuses to race. No quitters? Ah, splendid. Now, prepare your vehicles.

• Green Arrow : So, what's the plan, Bats?

  Batman : My plan is to win. Losing would mean Gotham falls. Not on my watch.

  Green Arrow : Hey, look, I feel the same way about Star City, but...

  Batman : But nothing. I'm winning this race. The same way I won in Monte Carlo last year.

  Green Arrow : Oh, please. You only won in Monte Carlo because I let you win.

  Batman : [grabbing him, with a threatening fist raised]  There's only one way to prove that, isn't there?

  Mongul : [separating them with a laser blast]  Now, now. Save your anger for the race.

  Batman : See you at the finish line.

  Huntress : So this is how it's gonna be? And I used to think you were hot.

• Mongul : This is a land race, Batman. I should disqualify you. Permanently.

  Batman : [converting the Batplane back into the Batmobile]  No other rules, remember?

  Mongul : Ah, Batman, you are diverting. Better entertain me, Steppenwolf, or I may have found a new champion.

• Mongul : Bravo, and brava. You ran a magnificent race. Ruthless and cunning. All that I could have asked. And you certainly humiliated my champion.

  [blasting Steppenwolf] 

  Mongul : My ex-champion, that is. Unfortunately, I really have no use for a troublesome hero-laden world such as Earth. So I'm still gonna blow it up.

  Batman : But you promised.

  Mongul : Word to the wise: never trust someone who was a Warmoon.

  Batman : Actually, I didn't.

  Mongul : [the satellite blows up]  My... my Warmoon!

  Green Arrow : Go on, Mongul. You know you wanna say it. "Curses, foiled again."

  Mongul : Very clever, humans. Just for that, I will destroy all of you before I go!

  Batman : Wrong again, Mongul.

  [converting the Batmobile into a super-suit and getting the best of Mongul] 

  Batman : The only place you're going is a small cell on Oa.

  Guy Gardner : Ha, one punch. What a mook.