Sabrina Wu credited as playing...
Deadeye
- Lolo: [chuckles] Yeah. Um... so, when we get to Beijing, you're gonna meet up with your BTS friends, right?
- Audrey: Yeah, awesome.
- Deadeye: Yes. @Jinderalla88, @JHopesGirl, @SugaIsMyDaddy.
- Audrey: Oh, online people?
- Deadeye: Yeah, they're my best friends. I went to @Jinderalla88's wedding on Zoom.
- Audrey: Awesome.
- Deadeye: He married a pillow.
- [after learning Audrey is actually Korean and not Chinese]
- Nai Nai Chen: [in English] I want my dress back.
- Grandpa Chen: [in Mandarin] I knew she was Korean. Just look at her big round face.
- [all sighing]
- Nai Nai Chen: [in Cantonese] At least she's not Japanese.
- Deadeye: [in English] Stop being so racist!
- Lolo: Her address is on there. She lives in Haiching, which is super close to Nai Nai's. And we'll just stay with them.
- Deadeye: Oh, no, no, no. She can't handle it!
- Audrey: Wait, no. Why not? I can handle it.
- Lolo: Nai Nai's like, Chinese-Chinese. Like, "super long hair coming out of a mole and refuses to pluck it 'cause it's bad luck" Chinese.
- Kat: "Forces you to overeat, and then comments on your weight later" Chinese.
- Lolo: Like, literally, "take her bra off, wipe her under-boob sweat in the middle of a Buddhist temple and make you sniff it" Chinese.
- Kat: "Has a plastic bag full of other plastic bags" Chinese.
- Helen: [in English] You, Korea girl.
- Audrey: Uh...
- [Helen motions at adoption papers]
- Kat: [reading papers] Your mom's name is Min Park.
- Audrey: That... That's a mistake. I'm... I'm Chinese. I... I went to Chinese school for a year. I... I... We... We celebrated Chinese New Year's. I...
- Deadeye: But Korea's great. I mean, there's... There's mukbang, soju, Hyundai, Gangnam Style, half of Hines Ward, half of Charles Melton, all of Randall Park.
- Lolo: [rapping a K-pop version of WAP] Wet ass pussy/beat it up, Lolo/catch a charge/Kumon smart and Kumon hard/Put this pussy/on a girl named Grace/Who got them A's/on a report card
- Kat, Audrey: Hop on top, I wanna ride/In a rice rocket/that's a Hyundai/Cut up that duck/don't cut up the eyes/This pussy is wet/we know how to dive
- Deadeye: [background] Olympics
- Lolo: Thai me up
- Kat: Like I'm tea iced
- Lolo: Let's go play
- Audrey: Just not on the slide
- Lolo, Kat, Audrey: I want you to park/that plastic couch
- Lolo: Right in this dusty garage
- Audrey: We don't need fuckin' passports. Let's go. Let's think. No bad ideas. Let's go.
- Lolo: We could flash our titties and just hitchhike the whole way.
- Audrey: That's a bad idea.
- Deadeye: We could take a rocket to space and then try to land in Korea. No customs in the atmosphere.
- Audrey: I feel like that's worse.
- Deadeye: Okay, uh, we become mail-order brides, uh, and then we... We find a really big envelope and then we could just...
- [makes whoosh noise]
- Audrey: I fuckin' love that spirit, Deadeye. Just keep thinking.
- Deadeye: We take coke again and we just sprint.
- Audrey: [Tuts] No more coke!