Barbie (I) (2023)

America Ferrera: Gloria

Photos 

Quotes 

• Barbie : [in tears]  I'm not pretty anymore!

  Gloria : What? You're so pretty!

  Barbie : I'm not stereotypical Barbie pretty!

  Narrator : Note to the filmmakers: Margot Robbie is the wrong person to cast if you want to make this point.

• Gloria : It is literally impossible to be a woman. You are so beautiful and so smart, and it kills me that you don't think you're good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow we're always doing it wrong. You have to be thin, but not too thin. And you can never say you want to be thin. You have to say you want to be healthy, but also you have to be thin. You have to have money, but you can't ask for money because that's crass. You have to be a boss, but you can't be mean. You have to lead, but you can't squash other people's ideas. You're supposed to love being a mother but don't talk about your kids all the damn time. You have to be a career woman, but also always be looking out for other people. You have to answer for men's bad behavior, which is insane, but if you point that out, you're accused of complaining. You're supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you're supposed to be a part of the sisterhood. But always stand out and always be grateful. But never forget that the system is rigged. So find a way to acknowledge that but also always be grateful. You have to never get old, never be rude, never show off, never be selfish, never fall down, never fail, never show fear, never get out of line. It's too hard! It's too contradictory and nobody gives you a medal or says thank you! And it turns out in fact that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also everything is your fault. I'm just so tired of watching myself and every single other woman tie herself into knots so that people will like us. And if all of that is also true for a doll just representing women, then I don't even know.

• Gloria : [showing her drawings]  This is Irrepressible-Thoughts-of-Death Barbie... this is Cellulite-All-Over-The-Body Barbie

  [flipping over the page of her sketchbook] 

  Gloria : ... and this is Crippling-Shame Barbie...

• Gloria : You don't have your license.

  Sasha : This car has no engine!

• Gloria : [watching as Barbie slowly rolls face-down on the ground]  She's not dying, she's just having an existential crisis.

• Gloria : You like my drawings?

  Sasha : They're weird and dark and crazy. Everything you pretend not to be.

• Gloria : You have to be their mommies but not remind them of their mommy. Any power you have must be masked under a giggle.

• Gloria : You have to find a way to reject men's advances without damaging their egos. Because if you say yes to them, you're a tramp, but if you say no to them, you're a prude.

• Gloria : I have an idea.

  Mattel CEO : Tell me your secret dream, child.

  Gloria : Okay, what about Ordinary Barbie? She's not extraordinary. She's not president of anything, or maybe she is. Maybe she's a mom. Maybe she's not. Because it's okay to... to just want to be a mom, or to wanna be president or a mom who is president. Or not a mom who's also not president. She just has a flattering top, and she wants to get through the day feeling kinda good about herself.

  Mattel CEO : That's a terrible idea.

  Mattel Executive #1 : Yeah, that's going to make money.

  Mattel CEO : Oh. Ordinary Barbie. I love it. Fantastic.

• Barbie : What is wrong with them?

  Ken : We just explained to them the immaculate, impeccable seamless garment of logic that is patriarchy, and they crumbled.

  Gloria : Oh, my God. This is like in the 1500s with the indigenous people and smallpox. They had no defenses against it.

• Sasha : Are you really gonna let Barbie take you and your tween daughter to an imaginary land?

  Gloria : Yes, and you wanna know why? Because I never get to do anything.

• Barbie : No, Ken. This is my Dreamhouse. It is my Dreamhouse! It's mine!

  Ken : No, this is no longer Barbie's Dreamhouse. This shall henceforth be known as Ken's Mojo Dojo Casa House.

  Sasha : You don't have to say dojo and house.

  Gloria : And casa...

  Ken : But you do because it feels good. Try it.

• Ken : Barbie! Take your lady fashions with you. Take your Celebrate Disco Bell Bottoms...

  Barbie : Oh!

  Ken : And your Ice Capades Pretty Practice Suit and Dazzling Show Skirt.

  Gloria : These are archival.

  Ken : Your Pajama Jam in Amsterdam sets.

  Barbie : No!

  Ken : And your Pretty Paisley Palazzo Pants!

  Barbie : Not the Palazzos!

  Ken : And get out!

• Barbie : I've never wanted anything to change.

  Gloria : Oh, honey, that's life. It's all change.

  Barbie : That's... That's terrifying. I don't want that. Not my life. No, thank you. Just, no, I don't want this. I'm just gonna sit here and wait and hope that one of the more leadership-oriented Barbies just snaps out of it and does something about this whole mess.

  Gloria : I really understand this feeling. It's basically, like, being a human person all the time...

• Gloria : That's Sugar Daddy Ken. And Earring Magic Ken. Mattel discontinued them.

  Sasha : Sugar Daddy?

  Sugar Daddy Ken : No, no, no, no. I'm not a sugar daddy. This is Sugar, and I'm her daddy.

  Earring Magic Ken : And I have an earring. A magic earring.

  Gloria : These were actual Kens.

• Sasha : Are you shining with a real Barbie?

  Gloria : No! I mean, maybe. Like a little, yes.

  Sasha : I don't even know where to start with this wishing-a-Barbie-to-life crap.

  Gloria : Oh, Sasha, listen. I'm just a boring mom with a boring job and a daughter who hates me. Can you blame me for wanting to have a little fun?

• Barbie : Why did you wish me to your messed-up world using your complicated human thoughts and feelings?

  Gloria : What?

  Barbie : Barbie Land was perfect before. I was perfect before.

• Gloria : You have to make them believe that you're complacent. That they have the power. And when their guard is down, you take the power back.

• Gloria : You can tell him that you've never seen The Godfather. And that you'd love them to explain it to you.

• El Esposo de Gloria : Si se puede.

  Gloria : That's a political statement.

  Sasha : That's appropriation, Dad.