Quotes

Pilot

Neal Caffrey: [pouting after finding out an attractive agent is a lesbian] Doesn't the FBI have a policy about that?
Peter Burke: That's the military. We don't ask. We don't care.

Peter Burke: You are way out of your league.
Neal Caffrey: Ah, harmless flirting. It's like a dance.
Peter Burke: Naa, there is no dance. You're not even on her dance card. No dancing for you.
Neal Caffrey: Umm, she digs the hat.
Peter Burke: Mmm, she'd rather be wearing the hat.
[Neal, at first, has a confused look on his face, then he opens his mouth as he gets it]

Neal Caffrey: [Neal and FBI Agent Burke enter a church under restoration. The priest asks them to leave, so Neal has to convince him to let them stay] Please father, my best friend is having a crisis of the soul. He is a married man and he has the most devastatingly beautiful assistant at work. A very provocative woman. He's been tempted. More than tempted. I have details.
Priest: It's very common with men his age. Unfortunately, very common.
Neal Caffrey: And I want to confront him about this before he tears apart his life. He has a lot of faults. I mean, don't get me started, he's a mess, but he's very spiritual. I know this is the place where my words will have the most effect.
Priest: This is the City of Churches. We're closed. Surely there's another place...
Neal Caffrey: This is where he was married.
Priest: Five minutes.
Neal Caffrey: Sorry about that. We got five.
Peter Burke: Did you just lie to a priest?
Neal Caffrey: Do you find Diana attractive?
Peter Burke: Sure.
Neal Caffrey: Then we're good.

Neal Caffrey: Did you really put Elizabeth under surveillance before you asked her out? Peter, I underestimated you.
Peter Burke: You told him?
Elizabeth Burke: Oh, he said he wanted to make sure I wasn't seeing anybody else. Honey, it's cute.
Neal Caffrey: I think it's adorable.
Peter Burke: I'm putting you back in prison.

Neal Caffrey: [Peter insults Neal then wants more relationship advice] No more relationship advice from this side of the car. Call doctor Phil.

Peter Burke: [Peter runs down the stairs, after getting a call that Neal's GPS anklet was set off, only to find Neal chatting with his wife on the couch] You're on my couch.
Neal Caffrey: Yeah, I came to talk to you. And Peter, I have to say, you have such an amazing wife.
Peter Burke: Yeah, I like her. Get off my couch.

Neal Caffrey: You said, if I found a nicer place for the same price, I should take it.
Peter Burke: I did say that.

Mozzie: You know the worst thing about art forgery? You can't take credit for your work.

Peter Burke: Let me see it
[referring to Neal's ankle monitor]
Peter Burke: . You understand how this works?
Neal Caffrey: I"m being released into the custody of the FBI under your supervision and this thing chafing my leg. Anything I'm missing?
Peter Burke: Yeah, if you run and I catch you, which I will because I'm 2-0, you're not back here for 4 years, you're back here for good. You're gonna be tempted to look for Kate. Don't.

Peter Burke: Oh no, you don't get to lecture me on relationships. My wife didn't change her identity and flee the country to get away from me.

Peter Burke: You moved?
Neal Caffrey: [Looking around Park Avenue manson] Yeah, it's nicer than the other place don't you think?
Peter Burke: Yeah, I don't remember the other place having a view.

Peter Burke: We're not gonna catch Caffrey using road blocks and wanted posters.

Peter Burke: Still, it only took you a month and a half to escape a super max... damn impressive.

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Top Gap

What is the broadcast (satellite or terrestrial TV) release date of Pilot (2009) in the United Kingdom?