Eating Out: All You Can Eat (2009)

Daniel Skelton: Casey

Photos 

Quotes 

• Candy : [in Vietnamese]  Ooh, Casey has a straight boyfriend!

  Casey : [in Vietnamese]  It's better than a gay husband!

• Zack : [to Casey]  Ryan1989, you're way hotter than your pic.

  Casey : I'm so glad I stalked you.

• Helen : So when DID you finally get your man-cherry popped?

  Casey : Aunt Helen! You don't want to hear about THAT!

  Helen : Of course I do. I wouldn't be a good aunt if I didn't.

• Casey : We should, like, form a club, ha-ha.

  Tandy : Excuse me, I gotta go take a shit.

• Zack : What are some of your skills?

  Casey : Huh?

  Zack : Things you can do to help with the auction since we can't sell you?

• Casey : That drink was strong - like drinking blood straight from Amy Winehouse's wrist.

• Tiffani von der Sloot : Compliments will get you nowhere unless you're straight and hung like Mr. T.

  Casey : Damn and damn.

• Tiffani von der Sloot : [in Vietnamese]  Pam, Candy, this is the fag who will clean for us and attract gay customers.

  Candy : [in Vietnamese]  He's too skinny. The gays want more meat on the bone.

  Pam : [in Vietnamese]  No. Some like to take a twig boy, spread his legs reeeeal wide and snap him in two.

  Candy : Oh-ho.

  Tiffani von der Sloot : [to Casey, in English]  They just said they can't wait to get to know you.

  Casey : Oh, cool. Uh, tell 'em I feel the same way.

  Tiffani von der Sloot : [in Vietnamese to Pam and Candy]  He says treat him nice or he'll call immigration on your asses.

• [Casey questions the necessity of creating a fake Internet identity using pictures of Tiffani's sensuous ex-boyfriend Ryan] 

  Casey : Why would I want Zack to talk to someone way hotter than I am?

  Tiffani von der Sloot : When's the last time you opened up to an ugly stranger? Besides, you just find out what you need to know then Ryan will disappear. A fake profile is the perfect wingman.

• Casey : What kinda straight guy goes on a date with another man?

  Tiffani von der Sloot : He was a stripper at a gay bar. He'd clean a toilet with his dick for a dollar.

• Casey : [to himself in a mirror, wearing Ryan's policeman props]  You're been a very bad boy. You have a right to remain sexy. Anything you touch will be held against you in a court of my...

• Casey : You're straight?

  Ryan : We're just three dudes, havin' some fun, now PULL.