Eating Out: All You Can Eat (2009)

Rebekah Kochan: Tiffani von der Sloot

Photos 

Quotes 

• Tiffani von der Sloot : If you think going out on a fake gay date will make me jealous, you're dumber than a flock of Palins.

  Ryan : I don't wanna make you jealous, I just wanna piss you off!

• Tiffani von der Sloot : He's never volunteered before.

  Harry : Oh, a virgin.

  Tiffani von der Sloot : Only if you don't count anal.

• Tiffani von der Sloot : Children are just abortions that eat.

• Ernesto : I want to make many children.

  Tiffani von der Sloot : Yes, children. Put children in me now!

• Tiffani von der Sloot : [in the throws of passion]  So help me God, if you stop, I'll rip off your dick and shove it in there myself!

  Ernesto : Tiffany, we're in a coffin!

  Tiffani von der Sloot : Shut up! You're ruining my fantasy!

• Tiffani von der Sloot : Compliments will get you nowhere unless you're straight and hung like Mr. T.

  Casey : Damn and damn.

• Tiffani von der Sloot : [in Vietnamese]  Pam, Candy, this is the fag who will clean for us and attract gay customers.

  Candy : [in Vietnamese]  He's too skinny. The gays want more meat on the bone.

  Pam : [in Vietnamese]  No. Some like to take a twig boy, spread his legs reeeeal wide and snap him in two.

  Candy : Oh-ho.

  Tiffani von der Sloot : [to Casey, in English]  They just said they can't wait to get to know you.

  Casey : Oh, cool. Uh, tell 'em I feel the same way.

  Tiffani von der Sloot : [in Vietnamese to Pam and Candy]  He says treat him nice or he'll call immigration on your asses.

• [Casey questions the necessity of creating a fake Internet identity using pictures of Tiffani's sensuous ex-boyfriend Ryan] 

  Casey : Why would I want Zack to talk to someone way hotter than I am?

  Tiffani von der Sloot : When's the last time you opened up to an ugly stranger? Besides, you just find out what you need to know then Ryan will disappear. A fake profile is the perfect wingman.

• Casey : What kinda straight guy goes on a date with another man?

  Tiffani von der Sloot : He was a stripper at a gay bar. He'd clean a toilet with his dick for a dollar.

• Tiffani von der Sloot : [watching Casey and Zack after locking them in a house together]  Are they fucking yet?

  Ryan : Not even close. Is this gonna work?

  Tiffani von der Sloot : Trust me. It's science. If you leave two dicks together, eventually one of them's going to need sucking... like prison.