Tucker and Dale vs Evil (2010)

Alan Tudyk: Tucker

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Tucker : [Unsure of what to say to the sheriff]  Oh hidy-ho officer, we've had a doozy of a day. There we were minding our own business, just doing chores around the house, when kids started killing themselves all over my property.

• Tucker : He's heavy for half a guy.

• Dale : [the sheriff is stumbling around with a board nailed to his skull]  How is he even walking right now, Tuck?

  Tucker : He looks like he's gonna walk it off, he's gonna be fine!

• Tucker : All right... I know what this is.

  Dale : What?

  Tucker : This is a suicide pact.

  Dale : It's a what?

  Tucker : These kids are coming out here, and killing themselves all over the woods.

  Dale : My God, that makes so much sense.

• Tucker : When you see a college girl prancin' around in front of you half naked, you do not call out my name!

• Allison : Wait, wait! Everyone just stop for a second and let's talk this out, okay? Nobody wants to hurt anyone.

  Tucker : [as he favors the hand with the fingers that Chad cut off]  You could've fooled me!

  Chad : Fuck off, hillbilly!

  Tucker : Eat shit, body perm!

  Allison : Wait! Wait! How 'bout I make some tea and we all sit and talk this out.

  Tucker : S-s-sounds like a good idea. I'll provide the finger sandwiches!

• Tucker : Holy shit. We have go to hide all of the sharp objects!

• Tucker : [hands him a nail gun]  Cover me.

  Dale : I ain't never shot at nobody before.

  Tucker : If it helps, think of 'em like moving two-by-fours.

• Chad : [Comes up to Tucker, who is hanging upside down]  I've never stood so close to pure evil before.

  Chad : [Sniffs close to Tucker's face]  It kinda' stinks.

  Tucker : It said it was 24-hour protection!

• Sheriff : [Talking to Tucker and Dale, after he's pulled them over]  Where are you two headed?

  Tucker : We're headed to our vacation home up by Morris Lake. I sank every penny I had into it... me and Dale here, we're gonna' go fix her up, then do a little fishin'. He's been strikin' out by the ladies, I figure a little *man* time might do him some good.

  Sheriff : [Gives them a hard look]  There ain't nothin' up there but pain and suffering on a scale you can't even imagine.

• Tucker : What am I supposed to say, Dale? "Oh hidy-ho officer! We've had a doozy of a day. There we were minding our own business, just doing chores around the house when kids started killing themselves all over my property."

  Dale : Yeah, yeah, just like that.

  Tucker : They're never gonna believe that.

  Dale : But that's exactly what happened!

• Dale : [when going for the last beer]  That's okay Tuck. You take that. It's yours.

  Tucker : See that's why you're never gonna get ahead in life. It's cause you don't stick up for yourself.

  Dale : [Dale reaching for last beer, Tucker smacks Dale's hand]  "OW!"

  Tucker : Do not even think about it.

  Dale : But you just said...

  Tucker : Are you kidding me?

  Dale : [Tucker smacks Dale's hand]  "OW!"

  Tucker : Are you serious?

  [snaps open beer top] 

  Tucker : What'd I just say?

  Dale : You said I gotta stick up for myself.

  Tucker : I said "don't even think about it, though" That was the last thing I said.

• Tucker : This vacation sucks.

• Tucker : [Dale is attracted to one of the college co-eds at the gas station, but hesitates to try to go talk to her]  She's just human. Why don't you go over and talk to her?

  Dale : Talk to her? What... What in the world would I say?

  Tucker : I don't know... Tell her that you got a vacation home. That'll probably impress her.

  Dale : Are you out of your mind, Tucker? They're college girls, and they grew up with vacation homes and guys like me fixing their toilets!

  Tucker : You've gotta' have some faith in yourself, man. Girls can *smell* fear. Now, come on! You are a good lookin' man... more or less. You got a damned good heart. I mean, that's two things right there. Now go on, get over there! What... what's the worst that could happen?

• Dale : How you feelin'?

  Tucker : I am feeling high on prescription medication.

• Tucker : [whiping blood out of his eyes]  Are you okay?

• Dale : That's a PBR, buddy.

  Tucker : That-that's a thing of beauty.