Tucker and Dale vs Evil (2010)
Alan Tudyk: Tucker
Photos
Quotes
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Tucker : [Unsure of what to say to the sheriff] Oh hidy-ho officer, we've had a doozy of a day. There we were minding our own business, just doing chores around the house, when kids started killing themselves all over my property.
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Tucker : He's heavy for half a guy.
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Tucker : When you see a college girl prancin' around in front of you half naked, you do not call out my name!
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Allison : Wait, wait! Everyone just stop for a second and let's talk this out, okay? Nobody wants to hurt anyone.
Tucker : [as he favors the hand with the fingers that Chad cut off] You could've fooled me!
Chad : Fuck off, hillbilly!
Tucker : Eat shit, body perm!
Allison : Wait! Wait! How 'bout I make some tea and we all sit and talk this out.
Tucker : S-s-sounds like a good idea. I'll provide the finger sandwiches!
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Tucker : Holy shit. We have go to hide all of the sharp objects!
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Sheriff : [Talking to Tucker and Dale, after he's pulled them over] Where are you two headed?
Tucker : We're headed to our vacation home up by Morris Lake. I sank every penny I had into it... me and Dale here, we're gonna' go fix her up, then do a little fishin'. He's been strikin' out by the ladies, I figure a little *man* time might do him some good.
Sheriff : [Gives them a hard look] There ain't nothin' up there but pain and suffering on a scale you can't even imagine.
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Tucker : What am I supposed to say, Dale? "Oh hidy-ho officer! We've had a doozy of a day. There we were minding our own business, just doing chores around the house when kids started killing themselves all over my property."
Dale : Yeah, yeah, just like that.
Tucker : They're never gonna believe that.
Dale : But that's exactly what happened!
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Dale : [when going for the last beer] That's okay Tuck. You take that. It's yours.
Tucker : See that's why you're never gonna get ahead in life. It's cause you don't stick up for yourself.
Dale : [Dale reaching for last beer, Tucker smacks Dale's hand] "OW!"
Tucker : Do not even think about it.
Dale : But you just said...
Tucker : Are you kidding me?
Dale : [Tucker smacks Dale's hand] "OW!"
Tucker : Are you serious?
[snaps open beer top]
Tucker : What'd I just say?
Dale : You said I gotta stick up for myself.
Tucker : I said "don't even think about it, though" That was the last thing I said.
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Tucker : This vacation sucks.
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Tucker : [Dale is attracted to one of the college co-eds at the gas station, but hesitates to try to go talk to her] She's just human. Why don't you go over and talk to her?
Dale : Talk to her? What... What in the world would I say?
Tucker : I don't know... Tell her that you got a vacation home. That'll probably impress her.
Dale : Are you out of your mind, Tucker? They're college girls, and they grew up with vacation homes and guys like me fixing their toilets!
Tucker : You've gotta' have some faith in yourself, man. Girls can *smell* fear. Now, come on! You are a good lookin' man... more or less. You got a damned good heart. I mean, that's two things right there. Now go on, get over there! What... what's the worst that could happen?
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Tucker : [whiping blood out of his eyes] Are you okay?