- Tom Wambsgans: My hunch is that you are going to get fucked. Because I've seen you get fucked a lot. And I've never seen Logan get fucked once.
- Vic Schmidt: [Consulting about prison] Your toilet is your stair machine, it's your bench, it's, uh... your fridge, it's your... lover, it's-it's-it's your brother, it's your priest. Oh, and also, most importantly, it's also your... toilet.
- Greg Hirsch: Yeah, I, uh... I'm worried about prison... I-I-I-I just feel because of my physical length, I could be a target for all kinds of misadventures.
- Tom Wambsgans: [responding to Greg's 'Christmas Tree' observation] Are you asking if you can hook your bauble of corporate wrongdoing on one of my branches, Greg?
- Greg Hirsch: I just thought, if it won't make much difference to you...
- Tom Wambsgans: Fine, okay. Load me up, you piece of shit.
- Shiv Roy: Is it just me or, in a room full of Timothy McVeighs, does Connor suddenly look like a Roosevelt?
- Tom Wambsgans: So, according to Steven my prison consultant this is, you know, this is kind of what the food is like inside. I'm in training. How's your omelet?
- Greg Hirsch: It's ... I'm making some in-roads.
- Tom Wambsgans: It's like Afghanistan. You have to start in the center, there. You establish a base of operations. Then you have to kind of move out to secure more territory.
- Shiv Roy: [entering the Future Freedom Summit conference hall] Wow, you can really smell the panic. Berlin Bunker vibes.
- Kendall Roy: Hey, Shiv, is it true? You at the hate-fest fest, burning books and measuring skulls down in Nuremberg, Virginia?
- Roman Roy: [observing Logan's interaction with Kerry] Clearly fucking.
- Shiv Roy: Dad and Kerry? Please.
- Roman Roy: Showing memes to a young menial? Tale as old as time.
- Shiv Roy: No, he hates the close-proximity bang.
- Roman Roy: He's still really into blowjobs, I hear.
- Shiv Roy: You just wanna give him a blowjob, so stop projecting.
- Roman Roy: I do.
- Logan Roy: [not hearing them] Hey, Romulus!
- Shiv Roy: Looks like he wants one now.
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