Scarlett Johansson credited as playing...
Midge Campbell
- Midge Campbell: I do a nude scene. You want to see it?
- Augie Steenbeck: Huh? Did I say yes?
- Midge Campbell: You didn't say anything.
- Augie Steenbeck: Uh, I mean yes. My mouth... My mouth didn't speak.
- Midge Campbell: I mean, I think I know now what I realize we are. Two catastrophically wounded people who don't express the depths of their pain because we don't want to. That's our connection.
- Augie Steenbeck: Uh-huh.
- Augie Steenbeck: I don't like the way that guy looked at us.
- Midge Campbell: What guy?
- Augie Steenbeck: The alien.
- Midge Campbell: Oh. How did he...? How did he looked at us.
- Augie Steenbeck: Like we're doomed.
- Midge Campbell: Maybe we are.
- Augie Steenbeck: Ah!
- Midge Campbell: What d'you just do?
- Augie Steenbeck: I burned my hand on a Quickie Griddle.
- Midge Campbell: Why?
- Augie Steenbeck: It's not clear.
- Sandy Borden: You were very good in the one about the tramp in the brothel...
- Midge Campbell: Thank you.
- Sandy Borden: ...who gets amnesia...
- Midge Campbell: Thank you.
- Sandy Borden: ...and becomes a pediatrician. You were very authentic.
- Midge Campbell: That's actually maybe my favorite character I've ever played.
- Sandy Borden: I don't know why nobody else liked it.
- Midge Campbell: Oh. Yes. Me, neither. Thank you. Some people liked it.
- Sandy Borden: Oh, I'm sure. I did. Who hit you?
- Midge Campbell: We're just two catastrophically wounded people who don't express the depths of our pain because... we don't want to.
- Midge Campbell: I prefer to play abused, tragic alcoholics, and one day I'll probably be discovered lifeless in an overflowing bathtub with an empty bottle of sleeping pills spilled all over the floor, but... the sad thing is I'm actually a very gifted comedienne.
- Midge Campbell: I wish I felt guilty at least, but I don't experience that emotion, if I understand it correctly. I've played it, of course.
- Augie Steenbeck: So you're saying you never feel guilty in real life?
- Midge Campbell: Not to my knowledge.