South Park (TV Series)

The Ring (2009)

Trey Parker: Stan Marsh, Eric Cartman, Jimmy Swanson, Pharmacy Clerk, Joe Jonas (singing), Nick Jonas, Kevin Jonas, Band Official #1, Band Official #3, Fat Girl, Purity Ring Boy #1, Purity Ring Boy #3, Mr. Mouse, Good Morning Denver Announcer, Good Morning Denver Presenter, Concert Announcer, Katy's Father, News Reporter

Photos 

Quotes 

• Eric Cartman : Your girlfriend is a slut, dude.

  Kenny McCormick : [pause]  Woohoo!

  [he runs off jumping for joy] 

  Eric Cartman : He took it pretty well.

• [after Tammy fellates Kenny, he contracts syphilis and dies] 

  Eric Cartman : I told him. The woman's mouth is the most germ-ridden place, I said. Statistically the most unsafe place for a man to put his penis, I said.

  Kyle Broflovski : Well, now we know.

  Eric Cartman : And knowing's half the battle.

• Joe Jonas : Look, we just want our concerts to be about our music and not about purity rings.

  Mickey Mouse : Oh gosh, fellas, let me explain this to you one more time. You have to wear the purity rings because that's how we can sell sex to little girls, haha! See, if we make the posters with little girls reaching for your junk, then you have to wear purity rings or else the Disney Company looks bad, haha!

• Joe Jonas : We don't wanna be selling sex to little girls anymore.

  Mickey Mouse : The rings stay on!

  Joe Jonas : Well, well, maybe we'll just refuse to go onstage

  [Mickey angrily punches him in the balls] 

  Mickey Mouse : [while repeatedly kicking him in the face]  You don't fucking talk to me like that!, haha, You little piece of shit!, haha

  [as Joe lies on the floor coughing up blood] 

  Mickey Mouse : Get the fuck up!, Get the fuck up!, haha

  [Joe's brothers help him up] 

  Mickey Mouse : Now, do we have a problem?, haha.

• Jimmy Vulmer : Kenny deserves to know, fellas. If you guys found out my girlfriend was a raging whore, I'd want you to tell me.

• Eric Cartman : Kenny, you're gonna let a girl put her mouth on your wiener? Do you know how disgusting that is? Girls' mouths are full of germs!

• Mickey Mouse : You think God is in control here? I'm in control. I've been in control since the '50s, in case you haven't noticed!

  [points to the Jonas Brothers] 

  Mickey Mouse : You three faggots are going on stage,

  [points to the South Park boys] 

  Mickey Mouse : and you three faggots aren't going to stop me! I have worked too long and too hard for anybody to fuck this up!

• Butters : Fellows! Hey, Fellows! I heard that Kenny is still going out with that slut Tammy Warner.

  Kyle Broflovski : Yeah, but it's O.K., Butters - they have purity rings now.

  Butters : What's that?

  Stan Marsh : They're rings that say they're not gonna have sex or do anything naughty anymore.

  Butters : Huh... A ring that says you'll be together, but not have sex... Isn't that called a wedding ring?

• Eric Cartman : "Grey's Anatomy"? Kenny! What kind of douchebag garbage are you watching?

• [Qowolc84SRA] 

  Eric Cartman : Statistically speaking, the most bacteria-ridden place on the planet is the mouth of an American woman.