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Will Ferrell and Danny McBride in Eastbound & Down (2009)

Quotes

Chapter 2

Eastbound & Down

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  • Kenny Powers: There is one image in my life that consistently makes me happy no matter when I think about it. And that image, that one image is your big tits.
  • Kenny Powers: There is one image in my life that consistently makes me happy no matter when I think about it. And that image, that one image is your big tits.
  • Kenny Powers: Nah dude! This is a real job, not like teaching kids. You can't get fucked up.
  • Kenny Powers: Where were you? I told you to wait in the car. Why is there silver shit all over your face?
  • Clegg: I was hangin' out with those dudes in the parking lot.
  • Kenny Powers: Doing what? Giving Robocop a blowjob?
  • Ashley Schaeffer: We got beautiful cars, beautiful surroundings... beautiful women.
  • Kenny Powers: Oh yeah, they are pretty hot, huh?
  • Ashley Schaeffer: They're my closers. And they help people who are slightly hesistant to buy cars; so you happen to be a man? Ashley over there will suck your dick.
  • Kenny Powers: I like how you work.
  • Ashley Schaeffer: You happen to be a woman, Scott will finger you with his penis.
  • Kenny Powers: Fuck that noise.
  • Kenny Powers: Work drugs.
  • Kenny Powers: Funny thing, when you're on top of the world, every motherfucker wants to get a piece of your ass. But then, you take a little time off from being unstoppable... just to... regroup and relax, no one will give you the time of fuckin' day.
  • Kenny Powers: Where were you? Why is there silver shit all over your face?
  • Clegg: I was hanging out with those guys in the parking lot.
  • Kenny Powers: What were you doing? Giving Robocop a blowjob?
  • Kenny Powers: A stork wrapped around a tree branch. That's the stupidest thing I've ever seen before. You know that's how the plague started back in the day. It was from a little disgusting birdbath in someone's backyard that rats made sex to birds in it and created a whole new type of AIDS.
  • Kenny Powers: I'm trying so hard not to be an asshole to you guys, Ok? I'm just disappointed with my own arm, and how its trying to buttfuck me back here.
  • Kenny Powers: It seems to me an establishment such as this could go for an overhaul in the advertising spokesman game. I'm talking about a real celebrity, not some sign spinning fucking monkey. I'm talking about goddamn me in the store, live, un-cut, in person, bringing in the customers, lubing the deals.

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