This Is Where I Leave You (2014)
Tina Fey: Wendy Altman
Photos
Quotes
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Judd Altman : Three months ago I had a great job and a nice apartment and I was in love with my wife.
Wendy Altman : No, you weren't.
Judd Altman : No?
Wendy Altman : No. She was sleeping with somebody else for a year and you never noticed... How in love could you have been?
Judd Altman : Yep... That's fair.
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Hillary Altman : You can't leave this house; we're sitting shiva.
Wendy Altman : Mom, you're sitting in the exact same spot we put our Christmas tree.
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Wendy Altman : Don't worry about Chelsea. Philip's skanky ex-girlfriends are a dime a dozen.
Tracy Sullivan : Do they all have to look like Victoria's Secret models?
Wendy Altman : She's not that hot.
Tracy Sullivan : Oh, come on! I would do her.
Wendy Altman : Yeah. I wouldn't say that in front of my brother.
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Wendy Altman : You need to put a baby in that woman, like yesterday.
Paul Altman : I'm working on it.
Wendy Altman : Have you had your man parts checked?
Paul Altman : Come on, not now Wendy.
Wendy Altman : You may have emptied them over the years... My room was next to yours... My room was next to yours.
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Wendy Altman : So, you are going to sleep with Penny, so you can forgive Quinn, and then get back on the road more traveled, and forget you ever got off.
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Paul Altman : [On phone to Annie] Calm down... Calm down... CALM DOWN. I'm coming home, I'm coming home.
[to everyone]
Paul Altman : I have to go have sex.
Judd Altman : Oh.
Wendy Altman : You know, in some cultures, people actually enjoy sex.
Paul Altman : Well, not when it's on a schedule.
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Wendy Altman : Sleeping with your shrink does not technically make you a relationship expert.
Phillip Altman : Yeah, but I am an expert in you.
Wendy Altman : Yeah? No, you're not.
Phillip Altman : Yes, I am. You raised me.
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Hillary Altman : God, the passion, the-the creativity, the - the angles.
Judd Altman : Jesus Christ!
Wendy Altman : Angles!
Hillary Altman : Mort knew his way around a woman's body.
Judd Altman : Mother!
Hillary Altman : And the sheer size of him. Circumference.
Judd Altman : Mom!
Hillary Altman : I don't mind telling you, the man was hung.
Wendy Altman : That should've been the headstone.
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Judd Altman : It's not a good time, Wendy.
Wendy Altman : Dad's dead.
Judd Altman : [Taken aback] What?
Wendy Altman : [Crying] He died about an hour ago.
Judd Altman : They said he had more time.
Wendy Altman : Yeah, well apparently, he didn't.
Judd Altman : Shit. How's Mom?
Wendy Altman : She's Mom. You know, she asked me how much to tip the nurses. Listen, there's something else. Dad wants us to sit Shiva.
Judd Altman : Dad's dead.
Wendy Altman : Yeah, apparently that's the optimal time to do it.
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Judd Altman : I don't understand the Shiva. Mom's not even Jewish, and dad was an atheist.
Wendy Altman : A Jewish atheist, and this is what he wanted.
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Wendy Altman : Love causes cancer like everything else, but it's still love. It has its moments.
