Blonde. Purple (2021) User Reviews

Everything is nothing

[nogodnomasters · 3/10 · 15 December 2021]

The film opens with Julian Moore-Cook in the Woodrow State Bank in a failed bank robbery holding a hostage (Ellie Bindman). The hostage claims to be 16 year old actress-singer named Madison Jones with daddy issues. The film flip-flops from the bank scene to flashbacks.

I imagine there was a point to the film other than a 16 year old attempting to explain chaos theory as quantum theory. Not really entertaining. I must have missed something.

Guide: F-word. No sex or nudity.

this is junk...

[ops-52535 · 2/10 · 1 December 2021]

Seems like ive got the honor of cutting this deck of cards, a new movie to review, and there are not much to say about these dum teletubbies negotiating over the g5 network, after a robbery went wrong and the only asset left is a very demanding and ''you spin me right round baby right round like a record baby'' kinda female hostage.

Its a lot of verbal screaming at one another, the filmography is faced up in claustrophobical boring sets , with the ambient audio of police squad car sirens wailing, spinning holes in your eardrums, and a story build up that has been existing since the craddeling of silverscreen movie making, and a horribel playtime of 127 minutes at a plot that could have been told at max 87 mins...

no this is bs acting and filmaking, male hysteria at its best, therefore no more than a 2 from the grumpy old man.

OMG, hell to the naw

[MovieCriticOnline · 1/10 · 7 December 2021]

I think they spent more money on the opening sequence than the actual movie.

None of this movie was remotely close to any reality.

The first scene was literally 15 minutes. From the look and feel of it, it was likely shot in the UK with British actors trying to speak with American accents, but then sometimes there were British accents, so it was all too confusing. But since they never really let you know where this is taking place you have to guess. Every shot was either inside or in a really tight closeup or using shallow depth of field so we can't see it was shot in the UK. This was a poor attempt to recreate Pulp Fiction.

It was so irritating to watch. They had constant sirens going in the background during the main location with lights flashing, but nothing was ever established, due to the low budget, so nothing made much sense.

The special effects were hilarious and the writing was like an excerpt from a BLM Blogspot, but in the end, it wanted to be too many things at once. NOTHING was believable.

I don't know if this was a comedy or what, but it was 100% embarrassing.

SKIP THIS FOR GOD SAKES!!

Yet another confused genre

[name99-92-545389 · 30 October 2022]

There's nothing that fails worse than a movie that can't decide on its genre.

Is this an action movie? Is it a political rant? How about we make it both and thereby ensure that it's unappealing to *both* sets of viewers?

This movie tries to make a "statement", but it's mighty confusing as to exactly what that statement is. We're told that whitey just won't give the black man a chance, but we're also reminded that in fact the exact details are that whitey won't give the *felon* a chance. We're told that it's a tragedy that the police don't bother investigating crime in the projects, but also that they're wasting their time if they try to investigate because no-one will talk to them.

The world-view comes across as childish nihilistic teen - "the whole world sucks, and it's everyone's fault but mine".

I can't tell if the writer is trying to do some sort of "I'm just being real here, real on the plus, real on the minus" or if he's just horribly confused in his politics. It feels much more like the latter than the former.

And, OMG, DO NOT WRITE SMART PERSON DIALOG IF YOU ARE NOT A GENUINE SMART PERSON!!! There were multiple places in the movie where I was cringing as we hear a not-very-smart person's idea of what a smart person sounds like. Stay in your lane! Or get help from someone with the appropriate skills.

Liked it a lot

[Wallabee123 · 10/10 · 2 December 2021]

Thoroughly enjoyed this. Good classic story, very good dialogue and all actors did very well. They were well cast. The film is somewhat long but that did not bother me at all because it grasped my attention to the end. Highly recommended!