- Norm Roberts (segment "Public Television of the Dead"): [to the Deadites] We're going to beat the devil out of you.
- Mrs. Bookberry (segment "Public Television of the Dead"): Now, if you don't mind, I prefer to wipe my ass in private. Unless you want to come in and do it for me?
- Mrs. Bookberry (segment "Public Television of the Dead"): Welcome to my library, children. Henrietta and I have a very special book to read to you tonight.
- Henrietta: - And you assholes are gonna love it!