Jenna Fischer credited as playing...
Laura Pehlke
- Laura Pehlke: How was camp?
- Dennis Pehlke: I saw a girl's tit.
- Laura Pehlke: Ouu, how was it?
- Dennis Pehlke: How *was* it?
- Laura Pehlke: I don't know, I just...
- Dennis Pehlke: She jumped into the pool and her bathing suit came down for a second. Besides, she's only eleven, it wasn't much of a tit.
- Laura Pehlke: Still, it's something.
- Laura Pehlke: My dad would never pull over the car on long trips, so holding it in is kind of a skill from my childhood.
- Kathy Helms: Do you even slightly appreciate what you got when you married Bob? What you were lucky enough to get.
- Laura Pehlke: Lucky?
- Kathy Helms: Yeah, lucky. Being pretty is luck, Laura, that's all it is.
- Laura Pehlke: I don't care anymore!
- Dennis Pehlke: Good! You suck, anyway!
- Laura Pehlke: You suck! *You!*
- Patient: What's with that bird, anyway?
- Laura Pehlke: It's supposed to be soothing. What, you're not soothed?
- Patient: It fuckin' creeps me out, actually. You like that thing?
- Laura Pehlke: Yeah. In a casserole, maybe.
- Mel Kaminsky: When someone says go fuck yourself, you don't go fuck yourself, do ya?
- Laura Pehlke: Sometimes.
- Laura Pehlke: [From her car] Got a message for your wife. She got what she wanted, so she can go fuck herself. Give her that message.
- Paul Helms: [Dryly] Okay, uh, should I have her call you if she has any questions, or... ?
- Laura Pehlke: [after finding that Dennis has lied and told classmates his father was a 9-11 hero] You can't just lie to people like that.
- Dennis Pehlke: Oh, my God, all you ever do is lie. You make up all these lame excuses to people for not being somewhere. You lie to Dad about how many beers you had. You say you don't smoke, but you really do.
- Laura Pehlke: Those are different. Those are tiny little things, and they don't invoke major events in world history.
- Laura Pehlke: [parrot repeatedly saying "rinse please" in the background] Hi, I'm Laura. Sorry I'm late. I saw you the last time you were here, right?
- Patient: Uh, no, maybe a year or two ago. Uh, listen, I need to be at work by...
- Laura Pehlke: Don't worry, I'm gonna get you all polished up and out of here in no time.
- Laura Pehlke: I have my job.
- Mel Kaminsky: What does the dentist pay you, forty-fifty thousand?
- Laura Pehlke: Thirty-eight five. But they are really nice and I can get more hours.
- Mel Kaminsky: Mm-hmm, well, unless they're nice enough to let you and your son *live* in their office, you have a problem.
- Laura Pehlke: Can I pee now?