Sam (XI) (2017)

Sean Kleier: Doc

Quotes 

• Samantha : And if...

  Doc : Yeah?

  Samantha : ...if you weren't totally smitten with me.

  Doc : I'm smitten, huh?

  Samantha : Crazy in love.

  Doc : Wow, you're good.

  Samantha : The feeling's mutual, by the way.

• Samantha : Don't you think that I'm sick of this too? Hearing Alvin the Chipmunk coming out of my mouth every time I speak? Having this face staring back at me every morning?

  Doc : OK, relax. It's not such a bad face.

• Doc : You know, we are going to look back at this and we're gonna l...

  Samantha : Oh God, you... smell... so... good!

  Doc : Em, that's... those are, it's just androgens. Those are pheromones and it's a chemical... what?

  Samantha : I'm getting the uncontrollable urge to... cuddle!

• Doc : And for the record, you don't sound like Alvin the Chipmunk.

  Samantha : I don't, really?

  Doc : Theodore, maybe.

• Samantha : I might be a few pounds lighter, but I can still catch a football.

  Doc : Sam, we don't play tackle football with women. End of discussion.

  Samantha : Dude, I still got the chops.

  Doc : Case closed.

  Samantha : [to herself]  Sexist pig.

  Doc : [offscreen]  I heard that!

• Doc : I know it's you, Sam... but you're different.

  Samantha : Good different?

  Doc : Not good. Amazing.

• Samantha : Doc, we're dudes. We fight, get drunk, and then make up.

  Doc : We are not dudes, Sam! Only one of us is a dude! That's the problem.

• Doc : So what's it like?

  Samantha : What's what like?

  Doc : Being a woman.

  Samantha : It's, em, it's like someone added 27 frequencies to my radio dial.

  Doc : Which means?

  Samantha : Which means, when I walk into a room, I pretty much know what's going on with everybody.

• Doc : May I have this dance?

  Samantha : Does a bear sh... of course you may.

• Doc : Were you really gonna belt her?

  Samantha : Hell, yeah!

  Doc : Spunky little thing, aren't you?

  Samantha : In a manner of speaking.

• Samantha : You know about drugs and hormone therapy and all that. So, I don't know, maybe if I was a dude again then everything would just be OK. You know, maybe we could go back to being friends.

  Doc : You're serious.

  Samantha : As a heart attack.

• Doc : Women have a completely different mind/body connection than men. Their arousal is more subtle, it's more intricate.

  Samantha : Which, translated from new age psychobabble, means what?

  Doc : They have to really like the person they're with to feel fully aroused. Let's face it, women are complicated.

  Samantha : Yeah, you're telling me.