Red vs. Blue (TV Series)
Reconstruction: Chapter 1 (2008)
Geoff Ramsey: Grif
Quotes
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Pvt. Dick Simmons : The other Freelancers never gave orders, they just offered to trade favors.
Agent Washington : Okay, then let's bargain. What do you want?
Sgt. Dexter Grif : [conferencing] Three words guys:...
Sarge : New base...
Sgt. Dexter Grif : ...gold-plated vagina.
Pvt. Dick Simmons : Shut up.
Sarge : Lasers.
Pvt. Dick Simmons : Always with that.
Sgt. Dexter Grif : Nudie mags.
Sarge : Robots and lasers. Lasers, and robots.
Sgt. Dexter Grif : Milkshake.
Sarge : All right, we talked about it, and we figured out what we want.
Agent Washington : All right, let's have it.
Sarge : We want you to demote Grif.
Agent Washington : Done.
Pvt. Dexter Grif : *What?*
Pvt. Dick Simmons : Another wasted opportunity.
Agent Washington : Congratulations. You are now *Private* Grif again.
Sarge : Got anything lower?
Agent Washington : Private, *Junior* Grif?
Sarge : I was thinkin' something with an insulting adjective, or... maybe a demeaning adverb...
Agent Washington : How about Minor *Junior* Private Grif, negative first class?
Sarge : Heh heh, I like the way you think.
Mnr. Jr. Pvt. Dexter Grif, -1st Class : You realize you just doomed us to certain death just so you could insult me, right?
Sarge : Hey, if we do get killed at least we'll go out on a high note. Well, everybody but you. That's to be expected; you haven't had a high note in five years! Why break the goddamn streak?
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Pvt. Dick Simmons : Huh. I didn't think of the "fuck it, we're lazy" option.
Sgt. Dexter Grif : I did. I was just too lazy to mention it.
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Agent Washington : You have got to be the most immature soldiers I've ever met.
Sgt. Dexter Grif : Your face is immature.
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Pvt. Luke Kay : Any last words?
Sgt. Dexter Grif : Yeah. You guys suck.
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Pvt. Dick Simmons : Wait wait wait wait!
Pvt. Luke Kay : What?
Pvt. Dick Simmons : Hey uh. Don't we get a last request? You know, anything like that?
Pvt. Luke Kay : What do you want?
Sgt. Dexter Grif : How about for starters you suck my-
[interrupted by Pvt. Simmons]
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Pvt. Dick Simmons : Shouldn't you at least read us our charges?
Pvt. Luke Kay : You know what you did. You were in charge of our ammunition. And you lost it all!
Sgt. Dexter Grif : Don't you think it's ironic that you're about to shoot us when we don't have enough ammo?
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Sgt. Dexter Grif : Is that a real rule?
Pvt. Dick Simmons : I have no clue. But he'll either read the book or read the charges. Either way we're alive for a few more minutes...
Pvt. Luke Kay : Yeah... we decided that sounds like too much trouble. So we're just going to shoot you and say the Blues did it.
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Pvt. Luke Kay : Does this mean we get a new Sergeant now? Awesome! Cause this one sucks!
[knocked out by Sarge]
Sarge : Never talk that way about a superior!
Sgt. Dexter Grif : Did Sarge just call me a superior?
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Sarge : Simmons, keep firing. Don't let up!
Pvt. Dick Simmons : Yes, Sir!
Sgt. Dexter Grif : And get the grenades out there!
Pvt. Dick Simmons : Yes, Sirs!
Sarge : Grif, stop confusing everybody. I'm callin' the shots.
Sgt. Dexter Grif : We're the same rank now. I can do whatever I want.
Sarge : You're not qualified to lead in battle!
Sgt. Dexter Grif : *Qualified*? How hard could it be? Simmons, you're doing a terrible job, and you should try to win harder. I mean *try* harder. To win.
Sarge : That was awful.
Sgt. Dexter Grif : I learned it by watching you!
Pvt. Dick Simmons : Excuse me, Sir.
Sarge , Sgt. Dexter Grif : What?
Pvt. Dick Simmons : [sigh] Never mind.