Condiviso con te
- Stewie Griffin: OK, if everything worked properly this should be the exact time and place that Mort was sent to. Now we just got to find out where we are.
- Brian Griffin: Or WHEN we are.
- Stewie Griffin: Ah that's such a douche time traveler thing to say.
- [a Cow says SHAZOOM]
- Stewie Griffin: . Okay we are somewhere in Europe.
- Brian Griffin: Mort? Hello? Mort?
- Stewie Griffin: Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! What are you doing in my room? Don't touch my stuff with your dirty walking on the street paws!
- Brian Griffin: I'm looking for Mort. He came up here an hour ago and never came back down.
- Stewie Griffin: Uh-oh.
- Brian Griffin: What?
- Stewie Griffin: My time machine's been activated.
- Brian Griffin: Time machine? I didn't know you had a time machine.
- Stewie Griffin: Yeah, I built it after I got bored with that European See 'n Say.
- [cut to Stewie with a See 'n Say; he pulls the cord]
- European See 'n Say: The pig goes "WANK!"
- [Stewie pulls the cord again]
- European See 'n Say: The cow goes "SHAZOO!"
- Stewie Griffin: It most certainly does not!
- [pulls the cord again]
- European See 'n Say: The rooster goes "GICKORY GEE!"
- Stewie Griffin: Where? Where does the rooster say that?
- [pulls the cord again]
- European See 'n Say: The monkey goes "MACAQUE!"
- Stewie Griffin: Oh, no, no, no! It does not!
- [pulls the cord again]
- European See 'n Say: The elephant goes "THWOMP!"
- Stewie Griffin: Oh, yeah, kinda.
- RAF Commander: Men, as officers of the Royal Air Force, you're the very best in the world. However, this mission to Germany will not be an easy one. Four and a half of every five of you will not return. Half of Jenson there can tell you it gets pretty sticky.
- Jenson: But I never lost me good spirits, I haven't.
- RAF Commander: So let's get up there, be safe, and get back to the big, fat pigs of wives we have waiting at home.
- Stewie Griffin: Pardon me, Sir. I'd like to join.
- RAF Commander: What are your qualifications?
- Stewie Griffin: I have a British accent, I'm possibly homosexual, I never brush my teeth, and my wife is ghastly!
- RAF Commander: Bombs away!
- Stewie Griffin: OK, if everything worked properly this should be the exact time and place that Mort was sent to. Now we just got to find out where we are.
- Brian Griffin: Or WHEN we are.
- Stewie Griffin: Ah that's such a douche time traveler thing to say.
- [a Cow says SHAZOOM]
- Stewie Griffin: . Okay we are somewhere in Europe.
- Stewie Griffin: But where do we find uranium in WWII Europe?
- Brian Griffin: There's only one place, at the top secret atomic research facility... in Berlin.
- Stewie Griffin: Wait a minute, Germany's building Weapons of Mass Destruction? Well, why doesn't America go in there and kick their asses?
- Brian Griffin: I don't know
- [slowly turns toward the camera]
- Brian Griffin: maybe because they don't have any oil?
- Stewie Griffin: Oooooohhhh...
- [he applauds]
- Stewie Griffin: oh clap clap clap clap clap!
- Stewie Griffin: Remember Brian, don't touch anything when we are in the past. Even stepping on a mosquito could create a chain reaction that drastically alters the present.
- Brian Griffin: Really?
- Stewie Griffin: Nah you can do whatever you want.
- Brian Griffin: [Brian, Stewie and Mort are stuck in Warsaw Poland during the invasion] Stewie, the return pad isn't working!
- Stewie Griffin: Yeah and you know what's not gonna fix it, your shouting.
- Mort Goldman: Oh God. Should we ask somebody for help?
- Stewie Griffin: Yeah right. How many Polacks does it take to fix a time machine? Let's find out.
- Brian Griffin: [Brian goes looking for Mort Goldman] Mort? Hello?
- Stewie Griffin: Hey hey hey hey! What are you doing in my room? Don't touch my stuff with your dirty, walking-on-the-street paws!
- Peter Griffin: [watching the Oscars] Man, look at that Steve Buscemi. Every one of his teeth is in business for itself.
- Scarlett Johansson: You know, Steve, the art director's job is never an easy one.
- Steve Buscemi: [with exaggeratedly large teeth] That's right, Scarlett. But this year...
- [one of his teeth pops out and starts to leave]
- Steve Buscemi's Tooth #1: Hey, where are you going?
- Steve Buscemi's Tooth #2: I'm going to the Elton John party.
- Steve Buscemi's Tooth #1: What the hell? I told you we were staying for the Governor's Ball.
- Steve Buscemi's Tooth #2: And I told you, Tim, we would see how the evening plays out.
- Mort Goldman: Peter, may I use your restroom? I took a laxative and a stool hardener.
- [groaning and holding his stomach]
- Mort Goldman: A-And they're fighting it out in there.
- Peter Griffin: Yeah, it's upstairs, Mort.
- Mort Goldman: [running upstairs] Oh, boy... I hope there's a scale in there. I'd like to have a "before" and "after" on this one.
- [finding the door locked, he knocks]
- Meg Griffin: I'll be out in a minute.
- Mort Goldman: I really need to go.
- Glenn Quagmire: [opening the shower curtain, holding a camcorder] She said she'll be out in a minute!
- Brian Griffin: Stewie, do you think Mort could have accidentally stumbled into the time machine?
- Stewie Griffin: It's possible. Let's ask Rick Moranis and the back-up singers from Little Shop of Horrors!
- Crystal, Chiffon, Ronette: Da-Doo!
- Rick Moranis: I SAW A RED-HEADED GUY COME UP HERE ABOUT AN HOUR AGO.
- Crystal, Chiffon, Ronette: MORT THE JEW!
- Rick Moranis: HE SEEMED TO BE IN A RUSH, AND HAD A PAINED LOOK ON HIS FACE
- Male Chorus: HAD TO POO!
- Rick Moranis: AND HE STEPPED INTO THAT BOX THERE, AND SUDDENLY, THERE WAS A BIG FLASH OF LIGHT
- Crystal, Chiffon, Ronette: THAT'S! WHEN! HE! WENT! BACK! IN! TIME!