Leverage (TV Series)
The Nigerian Job (2008)
Aldis Hodge: Alec Hardison
Photos
Quotes
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[over commlinks]
Nathan Ford : Guys, listen up. We're going on my count, not a second sooner. Parker, no freelancing.
Eliot Spencer : Hey, relax. We know what we're doin'.
Nathan Ford : And on the count of five, four...
Alec Hardison : Aw, he doesn't want to be our pal.
Nathan Ford : We're on the count! Five, four, three...
[Parker runs by]
Eliot Spencer : She's gone!
Nathan Ford : Son of a...
Parker : [leaps over side of building] Yee-hooo!
Eliot Spencer : That's twenty pounds of crazy in a five pound bag!
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Eliot Spencer : What's in it for me?
Nathan Ford : Payback. And if it goes right, a lot of money.
Parker : And what's in it for me?
Nathan Ford : A lot of money. And if it goes right, payback. Hardison?
Alec Hardison : I-I was just gonna send a thousand porno magazines to his office, but, hell yeah, man, let's kick him up!
Eliot Spencer : What's in it for you?
Nathan Ford : He used my son.
[long pause]
Nathan Ford : All right, let's go get Sophie.
Eliot Spencer : [they walk out, except Eliot who hangs back] What the hell's a "Sophie"?
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Parker : [hangs down from bar overhead] Can I have one?
Alec Hardison : You can have the whole box.
Eliot Spencer : What are you gonna do when she finds out you live with your mom?
Alec Hardison : [chuckles] Age of the geek, baby. We run the world.
Eliot Spencer : Mm-hmm. You keep tellin' yourself that.
Typed Caption : Parker: Security Circum
Typed Caption : [deletes that] Infiltration and Alter
Typed Caption : [deletes that] Thief.
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Eliot Spencer : You're not as useless as you look.
Alec Hardison : I don't even know what you do.
Typed Caption : Eliot Spencer: Retrieval Specialist.
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Alec Hardison : Goin' to Plan B?
Nathan Ford : Technically that would be Plan G.
Alec Hardison : How many plans do we have? Is there, like, a Plan M?
Nathan Ford : Yeah. Hardison dies in Plan M.
Eliot Spencer : I like Plan M.
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Alec Hardison : Anybody else notice how hard we rocked last night?
Nathan Ford : Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Eliot Spencer : Yeah well, one show only. No encores.
Parker : I already forgot your names.
Alec Hardison : It was kinda cool being on the same side.
Nathan Ford : No, we are not on the same side. I am not a thief.
Parker : You are now. Come on, Nathan, tell the truth. Did you have a little bit of fun playing the black king instead of the white knight? Just this once?
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Dubenich's Secretary : You are strong for a computer guy!
Eliot Spencer : Thank you. I like to work out. I'm trying to stay big 'cause I - I love dressing up like a Klingon and going to all the conventions, you know? Q'apla! Sorry.
Dubenich's Secretary : [startled and amused] That's okay. Q'apla!
Eliot Spencer : Don't you tease me.
Dubenich's Secretary : Oh!
Alec Hardison : Oh, hold up, man, that is not- that is not cool! That is *not* cool! We're gonna have a *strong* talk when you get back!
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Alec Hardison : [about Sophie's acting] She's very awful.
Parker : Is she injured... in the head?
Eliot Spencer : Seriously, man, this is the worst actress I've ever seen.
Nathan Ford : This is not her stage.
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Hotel Clerk : They came straight from the airport and up to their room.
Head of Security : So, you've never actually saw any of them then.
Hotel Clerk : But the, the credit card numbers checked out!
Head of Security : [to security guards at suite door] Break it down!
[doors open on teenage Alec surrounded by women in Princess Leia bikini costumes holding toy lightsabers]
Head of Security : Does that look like Mick Jagger to you?
Alec Hardison : [waves hand slowly] This is not the room you're looking for.
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Nathan Ford : Eliot, what I want you to do is clear the zone and use Hardison as bait.
Alec Hardison : Bait? Whoa hold up! Hold up! Wait a minute! I know you ain't talkin' about me, I ain't nobody's bait.
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Eliot Spencer : This thing safe?
Alec Hardison : Yeah, it's completely safe... it's just you know, if you experience nausea, weakness in your right side, stroke, strokiness...
Eliot Spencer : You're precisely why I work alone.
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Alec Hardison : Got all the designs, got all the backup. I'm leaving this cupboard bare.
Nathan Ford : Drop the spike.
Eliot Spencer : Did you give them a virus?
Alec Hardison : [laughing] Dude, I gave them more than one virus.
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Alec Hardison : [regarding the comm gear] No. No, no, no, *no*. No, *hell* no!
Typed Caption : Alec Hardison: Internet and Computer Fraud
Alec Hardison : This equipment is total VH-1, bra. It's "Best of the 80s". I got somethin' nicer.
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Alec Hardison : I've been doing this since high school, brah. I'm Captain Discipline.
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Alec Hardison : Ten-digit password. I salute you, sir.
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Parker : Problem. Those guards you ganked? They reset all the alarms on the roof and all the floors above us. We can't go up.
Eliot Spencer : Every man for himself, dude.
Alec Hardison : Go ahead! I'm the one with the merchandise.
Parker : Yeah, well, I'm the one with an exit!
Nathan Ford : [into comms] And I'm the one with a plan. Now, I know you children don't play well with others but I need you to hold it together for exactly seven more minutes. Now, get to the elevator and head down. We're going to the burn scam.
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[ringing]
Parker : [Southern accent] Hello. I.T.
Dubenich's Secretary : Yeah, this is Victor Dubenich's office. My computer just completely crashed.
Parker : Oh, well, I'm sorry to hear about that. Have you tried turning it on and off again?
Alec Hardison : [to Nate, proudly] That's a computer thing. I, uh, I told her to say that.
Nathan Ford : Well done.
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Alec Hardison : Shouldn't *I* be playing the computer guy?
Nathan Ford : No, I want you to actually *be* the computer guy.
