- Alex: [Marty drives a van] What're you doing? Zebras can't drive, only penguins and people can drive!
- Jonesy the Dog: Why should we even help them? They're not even circus.
- Vitaly: That's Bolshevik!
- Skipper: As much as I hate to admit it in American soil, the Ruskie's right.
- King Julien XIII: It is clear that I am just an emotional whoopee cushion for you to sit on. When you look for where I am, I won't be there!
- Alex: We're going the wrong way! Turn around!
- Marty: Just call me Marty-o Andretti!
- Alex: No, you're Sucky-o Andretti!
- Marty: Stop back-seat driving!
- Alex: I'm passenger-seat driving, and I want the wheel! Give me the wheel!
- Marty: It's not a wheel, it's my baby!
- Alex: Your hooves aren't meant to be on a wheel!
- Marty: It's too late for you to drive now!
- Capitaine Chantel DuBois: You know what they say. When in Rome...
- [jumps onto police scooter]
- Capitaine Chantel DuBois: VIVA LA FRANCE!
- [the group is observing their old homes from outside the zoo gates]
- Alex: Hmm... My rock looks smaller than I remember it being...
- Marty: Hey, look, it's the mural! Heh, doesn't quite capture the real thing, does it?
- Gloria: Well, there's our homes... I forgot about that wall between us, Melman. Was that always there?
- Alex: Skipper, what about the plane?
- Skipper: Well, the chimps will work all through the night, no breaks, no safety restrictions...
- [Chimps run off]
- Skipper: Hey! Where are you going? Get back here, we have a contract!
- Mason: Yes, well, I'm afraid the labour laws are slightly more lenient in France. You see, they only have to work 2 weeks in a year.
- Skipper: Well, someone else has the Canadian work ethic!
- King Julien XIII: [to a female bear] Has anyone ever told you that you look like a supermodel, albeit a fat, hairy one, who smells?
- [the Bear eats him... and pulls him out by his tail]
- King Julien XIII: Whoa-ha-ha!
- King Julien XIII: [Waiting for the signal to turn off the casino master switch] Now?
- Maurice: Not yet.
- King Julien XIII: Okay?
- Maurice: No!
- [later]
- Maurice: Now!
- King Julien XIII: [Sticking pencils in his nose, ears and mouth] Uh, I'm a little busy right now.
- Maurice: Just pull the switch!
- King Julien XIII: Okay, fine.
- [Gloria gets stuck after falling down an air shaft, nearly crushing Alex, Marty, and Melman]
- Melman: [to Gloria, sweetly yet awkwardly] Hi, honey!
- Alex: I just wanted to thank you for letting us get in the train back there. I know "the big guy with the accent" wasn't so happy about this and...
- Gia: Look, lion guy. This circus means everything to us. And if you do anything that threatens this circus, you'll have to answer to me. Capiche?
- Alex: Yeah, capiche. Cool! Trust me, we're cool.
- Capitaine Chantel DuBois: [Alex gets rid of DuBois by throwing her into a pool as they fly away] Well played, Lion. Game on.
- Gia: Alex? You are from a zoo?
- [pause]
- Alex: Yes. Yes. But wait, there's more.
- Gia: More?
- Alex: Or less. There's less.
- Vitaly: You were never circus?
- Gloria: We had to say we were circus.
- Melman: Or you'd never let us on the train.
- Gia: After all we have been through together, you want to go live in a zoo?
- Alex: Gia, I...
- Vitaly: You used us.
- Alex: No, no, no. I mean - I mean yes but,
- Gia: Trapeze americano, you make that up, too?
- Alex: It didn't exactly exist when I taught it to you.
- Gia: Jet packs and aquatic cobras! I should've known.
- Stefano: Balloons to the children of the world was not real, either?
- Alex: Yeah, that's not real. But look at what we did.
- Stefano: I was shot out of a cannon! I could've died!
- Marty: But I thought it was your lifelong dream.
- Stefano: For all I know, your name is not even Alice.
- Alex: No, Stefano, but it never really was.
- Stefano: I don't feel safe!
- Alex: Gia, I...
- Gia: We trusted you.
- Stefano: My tears are real! You are not!
- Melman: I can't dance!
- Gloria: Maybe that's because you've never tried it before.
- Melman: I *have* tried it! I practice in private because you're so good at it...
- Gloria: You practice? For me?
- Melman: Yeah, but... It's no use! I never know what to do with my arms.
- Gloria: That's the easy part.
- [wraps Melman's arms around her neck]
- Gloria: You just put your arms around your partner.
- Capitaine Chantel DuBois: Surprise!
- [She measures the unconscious Alex]
- Capitaine Chantel DuBois: He will never fit in the carry-on... but his head will!
- [She holds up a saw]
- Zookeeper 1: Hey!
- Capitaine Chantel DuBois: Quest-que-ce?
- [the zookeepers approach]
- Zookeeper 1: Look what she's done! You brought back Alex the lion!
- [He shakes the confused Captain's hand]
- Zookeeper 2: It's a miracle!
- Zookeeper 1: Thank you. Thank you!
- King Julien XIII: Me? Stay with the circus?
- [Sonya starts hugging him]
- King Julien XIII: I am the king! I want to rule New York! We should talk... Whoa!
- [Sonya tries to make him stay by force, hurting him]
- King Julien XIII: Stop it! No means no! Or in your language, "Raahh!"
- [Sonya growls]
- King Julien XIII: Not everything is solved that way, you know.
- [Sonya walks to the blue ball]
- King Julien XIII: Sonya? Are you listening to me? Now l'm getting the silent treatment, am l? Come over here, right now!
- [walks over to Sonya]
- King Julien XIII: Don't shut me out, baby! What is wrong with you? Speak!
- [Sonya roars in his face]
- King Julien XIII: K... if these are your feelings, l understand now.
- [turns to leave]
- King Julien XIII: And l'm going! lt's obvious l'm just an emotional whoopee cushion for you to sit on! When you look for where l am, l won't be there!
- [starts crying as he leaves]