- Chris: [to Greg] Look, I've been thinking. All I have to do is get out of the house, then maybe we can find a way to get into the show.
- Greg Wuliger: Well, my mother will be drunk and passed out by about 7:00, so getting out of the house won't be a problem. I could be on tour with Van Halen and she wouldn't even notice.
- Narrator: Years later, Greg actually toured with Van Halen for a year as a mike stand.
- Greg Wuliger: Sold out? But I've been waiting in line for Hall and Oates tickets for 3 hours!
- Narrator: Hall and Oates wouldn't wait three hours for Hall and Oates tickets.
- Greg Wuliger: [to Chris] I got the tickets. Why do I have to get the IDs?
- Chris: Because if you get busted trying to get fake IDs, you'll get community service. If I get busted, I'm two jail cells down from that guy who shot Reagan.
- Chris: [to Greg] You got the IDs?
- Greg Wuliger: Is Janet Jackson in control?
- Narrator: Yes, but Michael isn't.
- Chris: Look, Jerome, we just need some passport photos.
- Jerome: You're not cops, are you?
- Greg Wuliger: Why? Is it illegal for cops to have passport photos?
- Jerome: No, but if you knew passport photos meant something else and you were trying to trick me, I'd have to ask if you a cop because legally, you have to say yes and then I wouldn't give you one.
- Narrator: Contrary to popular belief, you needed to be educated if you wanted to drop out and become a criminal.