- Ted Mosby: Uh, the lamb here is supposed to be great.
- Nora Zinman: Oh, I'm a vegan. I wish I could tune out that moral voice inside me that says eating animals in murder. But, I guess I'm just not as strong as you are.
- Ted Mosby: That's 'cause you need protein.
- [to waiter]
- Ted Mosby: I'll have the lamb.
- Lily Aldrin: No "Don't get married, Ted"? No "worst mistake you'll ever make"? Barney Stinson, have you given up on the war against marriage?
- Barney Stinson: No, I just know a lost cause when I see it. That's the reason I don't recycle.
- Narrator: Kids, usually a moral comes a the end of the story, but this one is so important I'm saying it now: never invite an ex to your wedding.
- Barney Stinson: [Reading a brochure on the place the wedding is taking place] Namaste Yoga and Meditation Collective?
- Marshall Eriksen: I don't know about you guys, but namaste here any longer than I have to.
- Lily Aldrin: So you're back on Robin.
- Barney Stinson: Hopefully. I mean, this weekend is the best chance ever to hook up with her again.
- Lily Aldrin: You'll never pull it off, there's too many distractions. The first drunk bridesmaid you see, you'll have your hand under her dress like an old time photographer.
- Barney Stinson: Lily, don't cheapen this. I don't wanna sound all mushy-gushy and romantic, but this weekend, Robin is the only woman I'm bangin'.
- Robin Scherbatsky: Don't get married. Look, you're rushing into this. It's like you're trying to skip ahead to the end of the book. Ted, you're the most romantic guy I know. You... You stole a blue French horn for me. You tried to make it rain.
- Ted Mosby: I did make it rain.
- Robin Scherbatsky: It was a coincidence. But after all that, this is how your great romantic quest comes to an end? You're just disappearing into someone else's wedding, someone else's house, someone else's life without a second thought. That's not the amazing ending that you deserve. That's not Ted Mosby.
- Lily Aldrin: There's no meat.
- Barney Stinson: There's no alcohol.
- Marshall Eriksen: It gets worse, you guys. I think that guy you were talking to was lead singer for Spin Doctors.
- [Stella is imagining Robin in the receiving line after her and Ted's wedding]
- Robin Scherbatsky: Oh, Stella! Your new husband used to nail me like 3 times a day!
- [Robin is imagining being in the receiving line after Stella and Ted's wedding]
- Stella Zinman: Robin!
- Robin Scherbatsky: Stella!
- Stella Zinman: [cold & sultry, flashing her wedding ring] Oh... Suck it, bitch. I win...