Holmes & Watson (2018)
John C. Reilly: Dr. Watson
Photos
Quotes
-
Dr. Grace Hart : Shall we begin the autopsy? Dr. Grace Hart.
Watson : A woman doctor?
Holmes : Impossible. Fortunately we have a *real* doctor here.
Watson : Would you like some heroin?
-
Watson : [referring to Holmes being sick at morgue] Are you sure you wouldn't rather wait here because last time
[gestures vomiting and diarrhea]
Holmes : I told you, that was merely a bout of stomach influenza
Watson : Yes, but the time before that?
Holmes : Bad clams.
Watson : And before that?
Holmes : I shook hands with a prostitute.
-
Watson : What a perfect day for a picnic at London's greatest spectacle, the Anglo-American Exhibition, a celebration of that special relationship between our nation and yours.
Dr. Grace Hart : Yes, such a special relationship between these two nations. Although, I could never live in a country with an unelected ruler, like the Queen.
Watson : [scoffs] Whyever not?
Dr. Grace Hart : In America we have democracy. Our president is a person our people have all chosen, an assurance that only the finest and most qualified man will lead, not a wealthy tyrant who cares for nothing but himself.
Watson : But you have the electoral college, which surely would prevent some trumped-up charlatan from gaining power.
Dr. Grace Hart : Not always, unfortunately.
Holmes : It would be great to have a strong businessman.
Watson : But a showman as well. I love a good show.
Holmes : America. We gave you your freedom and now look what you've done with it.
-
Holmes : [applying physics and geometry to killing the mosquito] Angle of approach. Compensate for warp in floor. Count for resistance due to dust motes. Probable outcome, termination of mosquito. Integrity of bee habitat maintained. Deadly bee swarm averted.
[Holmes swats the mosquito in one hit with the oar, killing it]
Watson : The mosquito's vanquished.
Holmes : It's a simple matter of geometry, entomology and physics.
Holmes : [the glass creaks and shatters, releasing the killer bee colony] Oh, my God!
-
Watson : [holding the camera by its tripod] Your Majesty, do you think I could have a picture of us together?
Queen Victoria : But who is going to take the photograph?
Watson : Oh, no, I'll take the photograph. You see, it's a type of a self-photograph. I can take it, and I will be in it also.
Holmes : You know what? I find, to take the most attractive photographs, you need to purse your lips together like a duck-billed platypus.
Watson : Platypus face. Chins up.
[pursing lips with Watson]
Watson : Hey.
Holmes : Hey. Hey, girl. You know, maybe over by the window. The lighting's much better there.
Watson : Yes, yes, capital idea.
[swinging the camera into the Queen's face, knocking her out]
Watson : Oh, God.