- Johnny Bills: [to Jane] You're like a cat, you know that? Serious. Can't tell if you want someone for petting or for scratching.
- Cliff Steele: Clara's getting married, and somehow through the grace of sweet baby Jesus, I scored a ticket.
- Larry Trainor: And you're going to wear a t-shirt? Which will be fine. I mean, everyone will be looking at the bride, anyway.
- Larry Trainor: It's funny, I never had an imaginary friend.
- Cliff Steele: That is the saddest thing I have ever heard.
- Cliff Steele: Wait, Jesus! I come in peace. Maybe we could talk this out?
- Imaginary Jesus: You think I give a French fried titty fuck about anything you have to say right now, Cliff? I'm here to end you.