Steve Carell credited as playing...
Michael Scott
- Michael Scott: [sees office in disarray] Oh my god, what happened?
- Jim Halpert: We were robbed last night.
- Dwight Schrute: Bravo, Watson. Looks like a classic seven-man job. Okay, security tapes were stolen. Motives: financial, or possibly vintage HP computer collectors. Hank down at security had clocked out... and that's all we have.
- Michael Scott: And welcome to Crime Aid. "Crime reduces innocence, makes everyone angry, I declare."
- Michael Scott: In my opinion, the third date is traditionally the one where you have sex. Does Holly feel that way? I don't know. I will probably find out tonight. If she starts having sex with me, I'll know for sure.
- Oscar Martinez: So, in order to recoup the value of items we liked, we have to spend more money on things we don't want.
- Angela Martin: Who would *ever* come to this?
- Michael Scott: I don't know, it could be any number of people. It could be a pedestrian. It could be... an old person. I could be a lookie-loo. Or, it could be... a Bruce Springsteen fan. What? Who said that? I did. Why did I say that? Oh, I think you know why I said that. I think it is very apparent. I think it goes, without saying... Bear with me. There's a point there. But what is the point? I don't understand what he's saying. It seems a little shady, it seems a little foggy. Well, it's not a little foggy. There's really something going on...
- Jim Halpert: [interrupts] Do you need us for any of this?
- Michael Scott: ...Do I?
- Michael Scott: So when can I see you again?
- Holly Flax: Tonight, I'm free tonight. Is that too eager? I don't care, free tonight.
- Michael Scott: Ok. Oh, wait, oh, tonight's no good.
- [Holly's smile quickly fades]
- Michael Scott: Because I'm busy taking you out.
- Holly Flax: Oh, I just remembered, I can't tonight.
- Michael Scott: [Concerned] Why?
- Holly Flax: I'm going out with you.
- Michael Scott: Wow! Oh, wait a second. Oh, I can't tonight.
- Holly Flax: No more.
- Michael Scott: Too many times.
- Phyllis Vance: [about Crime Aid, the charity auction] I think it's a fun idea.
- Michael Scott: Thank you!
- Phyllis Vance: We could auction off things we do for each other, like cleaning or tennis lessons. My sorority did it all the time.
- Michael Scott: Okay, I'm gonna have to stop you right there. Was this a sorority that you didn't get into, a real sorority, so you had to kind of form your own?
- Phyllis Vance: Move on, Michael.