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- Michael Scott: Don't ever, for any reason, do anything to anyone for any reason ever, no matter what, no matter where, or who, or who you are with, or where you are going, or where you've been... ever, for any reason whatsoever...
- Michael Scott: Don't ever, for any reason, do anything to anyone for any reason ever, no matter what, no matter where, or who, or who you are with, or where you are going, or where you've been... ever, for any reason whatsoever...
- Jim Halpert: [Addressing the camera] Andy still doesn't know that Angela's having an affair with Dwight. And it's been 17 days. I mean, eventually he'll figure it out when their kids have giant heads and beet-stained teeth.
- [reading the note Andy posted to a bush in the parking lot]
- Dwight Schrute: "From the desk of Andrew Bernard." A note. Pathetic. "Dear Dwight, by now you have received my note. How are you? I am well. You are no doubt wondering why I have left this note. It's come to my attention that in any physical match with you, I would surely be bested." True. "The soft underbelly of my refined upbringing is my soft underbelly. Alas, after much consideration..."
- Michael Scott: [talking to David Wallace] So, I was in the office. And I look over to our accounting division, and there is Kevin Malone. Kevin is wearing a jacket that I have never seen before, and... I call over to Kevin, "Kevin, is that a tweed jacket?" And he looks at me and he says, "Michael, yes, it is a tweed jacket." And I look back at him and I say, "I feel the need...
- [long pause]
- Michael Scott: ... the need for tweed." So...
- Pam Beesly: [answering the phone] Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam. I'm sorry, he's not in yet. Would you like his voicemail?
- Michael Scott: [heard yelling from the street] Yeah! Yeah! Yeah, okay! Twelve miles an hour. Eat that, Carl Lewis!
- Phyllis Vance: Why isn't Dwight turning around?
- Oscar Martinez: The Prius is silent if he keeps it under 5 miles per hour. He deserves the win.
- Meredith Palmer: I've had two men fight over me before. Usually, it's over which one gets to hold the camcorder.
- Dwight Schrute: So, what weapon?
- Andy Bernard: My bare hands.
- Dwight Schrute: That is stupid. I will use a sword and I will cut off your bare hands.
- Angela Martin: Kevin, you screwed this form up again. The amount owed goes at the top.
- Kevin Malone: Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize I was doing something wrong. If I had, I would have admitted it and stopped right away.
- Angela Martin: That's enough.
- Kevin Malone: Because I wouldn't want an innocent person who doesn't know anything about the form...
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