Jetstream (2008– )

Kavan Smith: Narrator

Quotes 

• Narrator : Suiting up for the F-18 the first time out is like gearing up for the Super Bowl: it makes everything else they flown seem like training wheels.

• Narrator : [about the F-18]  This jet was never meant to land... on land.

• Narrator : Without power, the F-18 flies like a manhole cover.

• Narrator : [Shamus's Flight Control System acts up]  A bad FCS could mean loosing control over nearly everything except the ejection seat.

• Narrator : [On callsigns]  Maybe in Hollywood, you get cool names like "Maverick" and "Iceman", but not here.

• Narrator : The relationship between pilots and their ground crew is like a marriage... in 1955. The pilots head off to work to bring home the bacon, while the ground crew keeps house, takes care of the kids. They're the unsung heroes, but every pilot knows his life is in their hands.

• Narrator : [about a student who lets his airspeed drop during dogfight training]  At speeds this slow, the Hornet has all the aerodynamic grace of a Coke machine.

• Narrator : They say in combat a righteous dogfight is a dirty dogfight, and if you're not cheatin', you're not tryin'.

• Narrator : [On flying low]  The catch is : down here, you're never more than 2 seconds from your very own crash site.

• Narrator : [the instructors are fearful before the low altitude flying mission]  It's no coincidence that Shamus, who is known to get fidgety at the best of times, has been paired with an instructor who, where he any calmer, would require life support.

• Narrator : Whoever named this place "Cold Lake" had a firm grasp of the obvious. Once this place puts on its winter coat, it keeps it on for five... long... months.

• Narrator : [while the visual is snow plows working on the runways]  'round about now, you'd have a hard time convincing anybody that good weather is a key reason Cold Lake was chosen as a training ground.

• Narrator : [the students are about to do a simulated combat scenario]  But evidently, the weather didn't get the memo : a snow storm has swept in and the temperature hits 30 bellow.

• Narrator : [On droping a Mk-82 bomb]  It's got no internal guidance system, so dropping one of these babies is like playing lawn darts... with a hand grenade.

• Narrator : [One at a time, the students drop their bomb]  And then, there's Shamus. He's lining all up perfectly. And for Spanky, riding in the back seat, it's better than sex.

  Maj. John "Spanky" Argue : That's nice... that's nice... that's nice... that's nice... Oh yes, this is good... this is good... this is good... this is good... this is nice... this is perfect.

• Narrator : Tristan Mckee was posted at 425 gun squadron in Bagotville Québec. Tristan's callsign was changed to "Speedo" after a mysterious incident involving the speedbrakes on his F-18 wich triggered a parking lot full of car alarms.

• Narrator : [about the pilots' partying]  If Friday night ends before Saturday morning, you're not doing it right.