21 Jump Street (2012)

Channing Tatum: Jenko

Photos 

23 more photos

Quotes 

• [to a handcuffed Domingo] 

  Jenko : You have the right to...

  [forgets the Miranda rights] 

  Jenko : ... suck my dick, motherfucker!

• Deputy Chief Hardy : Do you even know the Miranda rights?

  Jenko : It obviously starts with... you have the right to... remain an attorney...

  Deputy Chief Hardy : Did you just say you have the right to be an attorney?

  Schmidt : Well, you do have the right to be an attorney if you want to...

• Jenko : Chemistry's the one with the shapes and shit, right?

• Jenko : One particle of unobtainium has a nuclear reaction with the flux capacitor - carry the '2' - changing its atomic isotoner into a radioactive spider. Fuck you, Science!

• [last lines] 

  Captain Dickson : New assignment. Since you two cowboys love to drink booze, smoke weed with kids, and fuck anything with a big ass in jeans with low self-esteem, I'm gonna send you to a place where all that shit is allowed.

  Jenko : Oh, I love Disneyland!

  Captain Dickson : You two sons of bitches are going to college!

  Schmidt : Yes!

  Jenko : No!

• Zack : You look really old. Were you held back?

  Jenko : No. You look super young, were you held forward?

• Jenko : [while passing different cliques]  Those are jocks, those are nerds...

  [passes hipsters] 

  Jenko : I don't know what those are...

  Schmidt : What the fuck are those things?

• Jenko : [raiding the evidence locker for drugs to take to their party]  Got a pound of coke.

  Schmidt : We are trying to show them a good time, not ruin their fucking lives.

  Jenko : Pound of marijuana?

  Schmidt : Best party ever!

  Jenko : Booyah!

• Captain Dickson : The mission is this: infiltrate the dealers, find the supplier.

  Jenko : We get to be brothers?

  Captain Dickson : [slams desk]  Infiltrate the dealers, find the supplier!

  Jenko : But if we find the supplier first, we don't have to worry about the dealers.

  Captain Dickson : God damn.

  [slams desk] 

  Captain Dickson : Infiltrate the dealers, find the supplier!

• Tom Hanson : [pointing gun at Schmidt and Jenko]  Goddamn it! Tom Hanson, DEA!

  [pointing gun at Domingo] 

  Tom Hanson : On your knees! Now!

  Officer Doug Penhall : Fuck! Doug Penhall, DEA! You're under arrest!

  Domingo : What the...

  Officer Doug Penhall : Put your guns on the ground!

  Schmidt : Yes! Yes!

  Tom Hanson : Shut the fuck up! You dweebs just ruined a five year investigation!

  Schmidt : We had no idea, you're like, an amazing actor, man.

  Domingo : You played saxophone at my sister's wedding, man!

  Tom Hanson : Tough titty, I fucked her too!

  Domingo : What?

  Tom Hanson : You little turds. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to infiltrate a gang like this? You see this nose? This is a fake nose. You want to wear a fake nose on your fucking head? For, like, months on end!

  Schmidt : There are worse things in the world.

  Tom Hanson : We had to get fucking tattoos on our dicks, man!

  Officer Doug Penhall : Actually, I just said that to mess with you.

  Tom Hanson : What?

  Officer Doug Penhall : It looks tough.

  Jenko : Hey, man, look we know what its like being undercover. Metro Police, Jump Street division.

  Tom Hanson : You're with the Jump Street? That's funny, because we were actually Jump Street.

  Jenko : What? That's crazy, man!

  Tom Hanson : Yeah!

• Jenko : Fuck you, Glee!

• Sanders : You punched me because I'm gay?

  Jenko : What? No, I... oh, come on. I punched him and... he turned out to be gay afterwards.

• Jenko : Are you ready for a lifetime of being absolutely badass motherfuckers?

  Schmidt : Oh, I am.

  [Scene cuts. They are patroling the park on bicycles] 

  Jenko : I really thought this job would have more car chases and explosions... and less homeless people doodooing everywhere.

• Annie Schmidt : What kind of a sick animal draws an ejaculating penis into a 8-year-old's mouth?

  Jenko : It's arguably, like, an airplane throwing up.

  Annie Schmidt : You think I don't know that's a dick and balls? I know all about dick and balls! I partied with Robert Downey Jr. before he got sober, when he was really fucked up and a lot of fun!

• Jenko : [is asked if he knows the Miranda Rights]  Look, it obviously starts with... you have the right to remain silent...

  Schmidt : [whispers]  You have the right to an attorney.

  Jenko : You have the right to remain... an attorney.

  Deputy Chief Hardy : Did you just say you have the right to be an attorney?

  Schmidt : You do have the right to be an attorney if you want to.

• Jenko : The three keys of coolness in high school, by Jenko.

  Schmidt : Mmhmm.

  Jenko : One, don't try hard at anything. Okay? Two, make fun of people who do try. Three, be handsome. Four, if anyone steps you on the first day of school, you punch them directly in the face. Five, drive a kick-ass car.

  [walks up to car they'll be driving in, Jenko sees it's an old run down car] 

  Jenko : Shit.

• Jenko : Where do we report to?

  Deputy Chief Hardy : Down on Jump Street. 37 Jump Street... wait, that doesn't sound right.

• Jenko : Hey, you want me to beat your dick off?

  Domingo : [Looks surprised]  You want to beat my dick off?

  Jenko : I'll beat your dick off with both hands, let's go!

• Eric Molson : Get in the fucking car now!

  Jenko : Not until you ask nicely.

  Eric Molson : Please get in the car.

• Jenko : What are you doing, trying to find my g spot? Just stick it in. GO!

• Jenko : I would choke the shit out of Glee if I could... if Glee was a person.

• Schmidt : [after being forced to take HFS, Schmidt and Jenko try to imagine something nasty to make them throw up]  Your grandma's vagina and there's a dick going in there.

  Jenko : What the fuck, dude?

• Jenko : You have the right to suck my dick, motherfucker.

• Jenko : Let's just finger each other's mouths.

• Jenko : [after seeing Schmidt for the first time since high school]  Not-So-Slim Shady? What's up, dude?

• Eric Molson : You made me this friendship bracelet.

  Jenko : Well he's not really your friend, he was pretending the whole time.

  Eric Molson : I'm gonna cut this the fuck off later alright!

• Jenko : I'm sorry, I just can't sometimes.

• [Schmidt and Jenko are flipping their guns in the air, catching them and aiming at each other] 

  Schmidt : Yours isn't loaded, right?

  Jenko : Huh?

  Schmidt : We're supposed to unload 'em first, right?

  Jenko : Nah, that's no fun. Come on.

• Jenko : Fuck you, Miles Davis!

• Mr. Walters : You shot me in the dick. Oh, my god! It definitely came out my asshole.

  Schmidt , Jenko : Yes. You are under arrest, you have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you. Do you understand these rights as they have been read to you? Fuck you, bitch!

  Schmidt : Yes, yes, We did it, man.

  Jenko : God, I feel so good.

• [back at 21 Jump Street in Dickson's office, after getting expelled from school for fighting on stage] 

  Jenko : Is that it? You're not gonna... you're not gonna scream at us?

  Captain Dickson : [dryly]  Nope. I'm just gonna fire you.

• Jenko : You're in too deep, man.

• Schmidt : Where did you learn to do that?

  Jenko : App chemistry, bitch!