- Burton 'Gus' Guster: I'm still not convinced, Shawn. How can you be absolutely certain that Lassiter didn't shoot Chavez?
- Shawn Spencer: It's relatively easy, Gus. I decided to be and therefore I am. Socrates said that.
- Burton 'Gus' Guster: No, that was Decartes.
- Shawn Spencer: That was the cologne we wore in high school.
- Burton 'Gus' Guster: That was Drakkar Noir.
- Shawn Spencer: No, that's a wine.
- Burton 'Gus' Guster: That's pinot noir.
- Shawn Spencer: The spirit world is abuzz and my psychic vibes indicate - nay, INSIST that Lassiter did not shoot Chavez.
- Burton 'Gus' Guster: I mean, we all knew that he would shoot somebody someday.
- Detective Ocampo: Oh, you think he's capable of it?
- Shawn Spencer: No, he doesn't. At most Lassiter would plant evidence.
- Shawn Spencer: You want to know my process?
- Carlton Lassiter: Yes.
- Shawn Spencer: Well, it starts with a "Holla", and ends with a Creamsicle. And if there's time in between...
- Burton 'Gus' Guster: Thundercats! Ho-oh!
- Shawn Spencer: Of course we'll help you. You're like our brother.
- [Gus winces]
- Shawn Spencer: Stepbrother?
- [Gus winces again]
- Shawn Spencer: Weird kid who lives down the street and eats nothing but mayo on Saltines?
- Shawn Spencer: Lassie, good news - we got you a grape one.
- Carlton Lassiter: Told you I don't want a Popsicle.
- Shawn Spencer: Ah, I guess we'll have to share this one.
- Burton 'Gus' Guster: How do you share a Popsicle?
- Shawn Spencer: I take a lick, you take a lick, I take a lick, you take a lick, I take a lick.
- Burton 'Gus' Guster: It's yours.
- Shawn Spencer: Sweet!
- Shawn Spencer: Don't you know cheese is best when it's aged? I read somewhere that a Japanese businessman spent a fortune on a 200-year-old wheel of Jarlesberg.
- Burton 'Gus' Guster: I think you're confusing that with Monet's Water Lilies.
- Shawn Spencer: No, I'm pretty sure it was a Jarlesberg.
- Carlton Lassiter: I told you I didn't want a popsicle.
- Shawn Spencer: Oh, well I guess Gus and I will have to share this one.
- Burton 'Gus' Guster: How do you share a popsicle?
- Shawn Spencer: Easy, I take a lick, you take a lick, I take a lick, you take a lick, I take a lick...
- Burton 'Gus' Guster: It's yours