"Ein Ferienhaus auf Ibiza" is a German television film from 2008, so this one is over a decade old now already, probably a lot older even when you read this review as I guess you will not show up here in 2020. At least most readers won't. The title means "A holiday mansion on Ibiza" and this is not part of a series, but there are many similar German films like this. Usually they start with something like "A summer in", "A love in" (utterly creative) or "A holiday mansion in" and then a particular location follows, usually one that is particularly interesting (for German) to sspend the holidays exactly there and in this very case we got here, Mallorca may still be more interesting to tourists than Ibiza, but Mallorca has this party vibe to it and this is obviously not wwhat these films are about. They are about pseudo drama, all kinds of gooey romance and nothing else basically. They are always very easy to identify because people hardly speak the language in these films that is spoken in these countries. It's all in German. Here I think there is one line in Spanish and that is only for one character to impress another that she is fluent in Spanish. Also these films come even painfully short in depicting the country and location in a desirable manner. I mean I have given up on those succeeding with solid stories or interesting plots or at least a minimum of creativity, authenticity and wit, but it would at least be nice if after watching this film for example I would be in the mood for a trip to Spain. Not the case either. No matter which perspective you take it's all failure territory. Now these were some general statements and if you have decided to skip the film now, then you can stop reading here, but if not, then I will go a bit into detail about this particular movie. The director of these almost 1.5 hours is Marco Serafini. He has worked on several international productions, not just Italian stuff as you could guess from his name. Actually, he started with directing already in his early 20s back in the late 1970s, so he is very experienced, also was back in 2008 already. It seems as if early in his career, back in the previous century, he worked on some stuff that was actually not too bad, so I would not say his career is failure altogether. Absolutely not. But the directions he has been taking (no pun intended) in the last 20 years are almost all on the embarrassing side. Pretty disappointing. Nonetheless I want to emphasize that his body of work, even if it includes Pilcher and Lindström adaptations, is still ten times as good quality-wise as the ones by writers Oesterlin and Schellack. These two are really the epitome of unqualified when it comes to writing screenplays and stories. They do not have a single project in their bodies of work that goes beyond mediocre and actually most of what they did do not even get there, but are to be described as abysmal. This may sound harsh, but it is the truth and as these two constantly get picked again for writing stories, they can live with that I'm sure. Back in 2008 when they made this movie, they had been in the industry for approximately a decade. I can't even blame them. I mean they made solid careers despite their utter absence of talent. The ones to blame are the people who pick them for their projects. Also really disgraceful that the German people has to finance nonsense movies like this one here with their forced GEZ fees. As for the cast, some familiar names in here, but most of them are not talented either and some of them have been in really many of these trashy television films. I mean it is particularly telling when Tina Ruland, who really is not a good actress, perhaps gives the best performance of the cast. Her lengthy sequence with Suzan Anbeh was pretty telling. I knew Anbeh was not Glenn Close, but I had no idea she was this bad. I mean she is pretty attractive without a doubt, but acting-wise she was so horrible here, constantly going over the top and hitting all the wrong notes. Shocking stuff. As for the guys, Florian Fitz is the only one that seems familiar to me. He is one of those who really has been in many films like this one here. But he does not even have too much screen time. Basically, he is just the unfaithful man, a stereotype you almost always find in these films that are mostly made for females. And in the end, he realizes of course how great and amazing his partner is and how his affair meant nothing to him. Okay. I applaud every female, every male too, who sees through this charade. As for the older cast members, there's Weis and Weck in here, both still alive today and really old, especially Weck, who has been in the industry for so many decades. I mean he was 9 when WWII started. Sadly, his character here is the epitome of emptiness and all he does feels only linked to his wife and of course we are supposed to see Weis as an elderly woman with class and style and dignity and we all should want to be like her when we are 70. I will say a few words about her character later on (if i don't forget) and why I strongly disagree with this perception. One final mention goes to Maria Ehrich. I like the actress, admittedly also because of her physicality (can't deny), but it was interesting to see her here at a really young age, quite some time before she became the lead in these Rubinrot movies. Still, even back in 2008, she was absolutely no rookie to acting despite how young she was.
Now a few inclusions about the story and why I felt it sucked. It already starts with the first meeting between Ruland's character and that vet at the airport when she thinks initially he is a thief or something. So cringeworthy this scene. How it was written already. Can't blame the actors there except for agreeing to play the parts. When he says something like now she found what she has been looking for and making it not so clear if he is talking about her luggage and himself, it is really cringeworthy. Also when watching this film, you must forget that Ibiza is a big, really populated island. In this movie, there are no other people there than our heroes. So no big surprise that when Ruland's and Ehrich's characters end up with an injured dog, what happens? Yep, the vet is of course the guy Ruland's character met at the airport. By the way, as for Ehrich's character, I also struggled with how she was used to manipulate the people's minds. This of course refers to how she defends the old lady with her bizarre plan, but also with hos she constantly says how amazing the vet is until her ma finally believes it. As for the apologizing of Weis' character, there is no excuse there other than that she is a stupid teenager. Very charming to come up with a story that their father will not give them any money when he dies because they are not getting along with each other. Emotional pressure? Check. Financial pressure? Check. Lying to the kids? Check. Lying to her husband? Check. What a charming old lady, but hey she wants just the best. This is also visible when she snoops around when one of her kids says they do not want any children. Who gives her the right to? Anyway, the inheritance lie also becomes really visible when the old man says something like how there are always arguments between family members, but that it is not a big deal and eventually gets solved anyway. This should have made it obvious to the son that it was never the old man's plan to not give them any money. But of course, the old man also gets his share and we see him argue with Ruland's character, with the son who is in deep financial trouble and also with his wife. Again, the film is really manipulative there depicting the man as the bad guy as always and the woman as the likable character. Gross. And, also as always with these films, it is all solved in the end. Everybody gets along with everybody. All the conflicts are forgotten basically. Ruland's character is happily dating the Spanish fella despite some earlier pseudo conflict that he is maybe seeing other women and he does not want to be in a relationship, whch was all nonsense too of course, but her if he talks to another attractive woman in a bikini or something, this can be the only explanation right? Makes sense. Oh yeah, and they are keeping the dog of course as well. So this film is a massive mess from beginning to end. There are some many moments when this film sucks that I can impossibly fit them all in here before the character limit approaches. It is not just the key plots, but also the small moments like when the three children see each other early on and are surprised because everybody's there, this is the moment Weis' character shows up like a queen. Cringe is real. Or another small moment: When the old man shows up for the first time and says hi, he does not even wonder why there is a dog around. Also nobody asks him about the idea to keep his money from the kids. Which is the key of the story and please don't tell me the reason is they do not want to seem superficial and money-focused. Okay I could go on and on and on, but you get the messages I'm sure. Allso o course the only son's financial issues are solved in the end like everything else. Actually you could say that this movie is mocking people who are in deep financial crises, in existential crises, whose partners are unfaithful etc. because of how the two compeletly talentfree filmmakers show is 100% that they do not understand the gravity of the characters' situations at all. Disgusting movie. Highly not recommended.
Now a few inclusions about the story and why I felt it sucked. It already starts with the first meeting between Ruland's character and that vet at the airport when she thinks initially he is a thief or something. So cringeworthy this scene. How it was written already. Can't blame the actors there except for agreeing to play the parts. When he says something like now she found what she has been looking for and making it not so clear if he is talking about her luggage and himself, it is really cringeworthy. Also when watching this film, you must forget that Ibiza is a big, really populated island. In this movie, there are no other people there than our heroes. So no big surprise that when Ruland's and Ehrich's characters end up with an injured dog, what happens? Yep, the vet is of course the guy Ruland's character met at the airport. By the way, as for Ehrich's character, I also struggled with how she was used to manipulate the people's minds. This of course refers to how she defends the old lady with her bizarre plan, but also with hos she constantly says how amazing the vet is until her ma finally believes it. As for the apologizing of Weis' character, there is no excuse there other than that she is a stupid teenager. Very charming to come up with a story that their father will not give them any money when he dies because they are not getting along with each other. Emotional pressure? Check. Financial pressure? Check. Lying to the kids? Check. Lying to her husband? Check. What a charming old lady, but hey she wants just the best. This is also visible when she snoops around when one of her kids says they do not want any children. Who gives her the right to? Anyway, the inheritance lie also becomes really visible when the old man says something like how there are always arguments between family members, but that it is not a big deal and eventually gets solved anyway. This should have made it obvious to the son that it was never the old man's plan to not give them any money. But of course, the old man also gets his share and we see him argue with Ruland's character, with the son who is in deep financial trouble and also with his wife. Again, the film is really manipulative there depicting the man as the bad guy as always and the woman as the likable character. Gross. And, also as always with these films, it is all solved in the end. Everybody gets along with everybody. All the conflicts are forgotten basically. Ruland's character is happily dating the Spanish fella despite some earlier pseudo conflict that he is maybe seeing other women and he does not want to be in a relationship, whch was all nonsense too of course, but her if he talks to another attractive woman in a bikini or something, this can be the only explanation right? Makes sense. Oh yeah, and they are keeping the dog of course as well. So this film is a massive mess from beginning to end. There are some many moments when this film sucks that I can impossibly fit them all in here before the character limit approaches. It is not just the key plots, but also the small moments like when the three children see each other early on and are surprised because everybody's there, this is the moment Weis' character shows up like a queen. Cringe is real. Or another small moment: When the old man shows up for the first time and says hi, he does not even wonder why there is a dog around. Also nobody asks him about the idea to keep his money from the kids. Which is the key of the story and please don't tell me the reason is they do not want to seem superficial and money-focused. Okay I could go on and on and on, but you get the messages I'm sure. Allso o course the only son's financial issues are solved in the end like everything else. Actually you could say that this movie is mocking people who are in deep financial crises, in existential crises, whose partners are unfaithful etc. because of how the two compeletly talentfree filmmakers show is 100% that they do not understand the gravity of the characters' situations at all. Disgusting movie. Highly not recommended.
